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20 funny jokes for Father’s Day



Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

dadjokes-550

 

Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.


Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio


“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.


A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.


Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio


Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

– Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.


A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.


Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.


Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa


Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.


Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.


Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.


Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.


Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.


Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

– Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.


Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

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Comments about “20 funny jokes for Father’s Day”

  1. Molly says:

    Hahaha! OMG so funny!

  2. Milderid says:

    This reminds me of my step dad

  3. GG says:

    Laugh out loud

  4. Anonymous nerd says:

    These jokes are hilarious I love them

  5. Who knows says:

    Omg i love it!!!!!!

  6. Legend dance says:

    Told my dad all!

  7. sarah says:

    My dad was rolling around on the floor after,I read these to him

    • Ilovefreestuff says:

      This is great. I read these jokes to my dad and we really bonded more, considering we don’t have an awesome relationship. Thank you to everyone who wrote these jokes, love you guys. Thanks to this great website . Really thanks so so much.

  8. jojoguy says:

    my dad loved these!

  9. Anonymous says:

    love the last one

  10. thanks says:

    i think my dad will love most of them this will make a good card thanks a lot

  11. Daddys Girl says:

    After reading the la$t on i got $ooo many of my dad’s “NO NO NO” s i laughed even more

  12. reegz says:

    Awesome jokes LoL I’m going to kiLL mY dad with this

  13. ha ha boom boom says:

    it’$ the funnie$st Thing i’ve ever $een.

  14. STRESSFREE says:

    very funny, still smiling

  15. Funny bag says:

    ha ha ha

  16. noname357 says:

    I kNOw my dad would thi$ one too!

  17. guy just guy says:

    the 0ne ab0ut m0ney is in my j0ke b00k

  18. jojo says:

    my dad’s going to love these jokes!

  19. Anonymous says:

    I kNOw my dad would love thi$ one, it$ my favorite to!!!

  20. Percy Jackson says:

    lol times 20

  21. webelo from pack 295 says:

    :D :D :D :D !D

  22. guy just guy says:

    the 0ne ab0ut m0ney i$ in my j0ke b00k

  23. Awesome SPY!! says:

    Wow! that 4th 1 was AWESOME! LOVE It!!!! :)

  24. alex says:

    i have herd that before and it$ $till funny :) ;) :o

  25. Alex says:

    HA HA HA Who knew $omebody could make a joke a$ funny a$ thi$?

  26. Animal spy says:

    awesome

  27. Norm says:

    THO$e joKE$ are $o fuNNy :D

  28. WUB Z says:

    I think even a purple zebra doing a handstand wouldn’t be as funny as this.

  29. cool says:

    its cool

  30. Mailburro+Alfalfa= Pedro says:

    That one kid wanted to have 10$

  31. jameswawawa says:

    FUNNY

  32. turtle says:

    i love the$e and i kNOw you will like thi$.

  33. turtle says:

    i agree with my5kidsdad (my dad)

  34. my5kidsdad says:

    This was some funny stuff my Webelos found. Thanks Boys Life for putting it here for him to find!

  35. chessmaster says:

    Ah, classic ones. The last one and the hospital waiting room ones have been favorites of mine.

  36. anonymous says:

    good $tuff for gene wearers

  37. auqaubreather says:

    Ra$co, looks like you got alot money can I borrow $1,000,000.

  38. auqaubreather says:

    What do you say about the last .That was pretty funny.Oh I got to go talk to Noah Lot.

  39. GA Dad says:

    The last one will come in handy when my son goes to college….

  40. SamtheMan says:

    LOL!

  41. James says:

    Boys life is the circle of the funniest jokes tthat will turn you upside down/

  42. sad says:

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  43. Daddy D says:

    You definately saved the best for last. YUK! YUK! YUK!

  44. Gunsights says:

    Boys’ Life just keeps getting better

  45. ra$co says:

    the$e joke$ are amu$ing

  46. The Taco Man says:

    I love the last one, hehe.

  47. MamaWulf says:

    NOthing funnier! :0)

  48. Bear n Life Scout parents says:

    Hilarious!!!!!!

  49. Maxman says:

    SO FUNNY!

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