20 funny jokes for Father’s Day

Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.



Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.

Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.

A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio

Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

– Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.

A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.

Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.

Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa

Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.

Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.

Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.

Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.

Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.

Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.

Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

– Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

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Comments about “20 funny jokes for Father’s Day”

  1. Pacman says:

    I like the la$t one

  2. cub says:

    it was like a jokes journey .

  3. Megan says:

    Loved reading

  4. Fiercefive2013 says:

    I thought that the jokes were halarious!!!!! And my personal favorite was the bug one and the hospital one:)

  5. finniina says:

    Bahahahaha! We read all of these as adult children with our Father and Mother today after our dinner, and it brought SUCH LAUGHTER and JOY to giggle and “kid around” – just like when we were young!
    That’s what Father’s day was all about here today!
    No drinking, or profanity and these jokes were CLEAN AND FUNNY!
    HOORAY!!! It’s about TIME that we get good laughter over all the crap that’s on the internet these days!!!

  6. CAN'T TOUCH THIS says:

    I liked the one with the men and nurse cause I am a triplet too!!!!!! My dad would really laugh at that one!

  7. jannie grapgat says:

    its really funny i love it!

  8. cool beans says:

    i was on the floor laghting at these :O

  9. preciousluv says:

    they will come in handy for my GRANDS TO TELL THERE DADS

  10. Scooter says:

    These don’t sound like jokes

  11. Khajo gal says:

    This jokes are so funny especially the one at hospital”i work for seven up”LOL guys thats great man

  12. kitty says:

    its really awesome

  13. Rainbow Flash says:

    funNy boy

  14. Hanono says:

    Lol so funny nd i’m going 2 use them 2day in different ways. I like jokes too

  15. aw$omene$$ says:

    i like the one about the $chool kid and the dad writing the letters in $ecret code$

  16. chummer1010 says:

    Haha! These are really funny! My favorite was the last one – What my dad would say to that!

  17. my mama says:

    The one with the four men and the bug one are the best!!!!

  18. ueono says:

    these werent even funny. kinda pathetic

  19. emmy says:

    that’s sort of cool.especially that magician one.

  20. me says:

    I love them all

  21. mcman says:

    awesome stuff guys.All were funny;but i liked 7up,dad wears trousers in the house and four men in the Hospital

  22. nanthini says:

    Sooooo funy i like sooooo much…..

  23. RealFunny... says:

    These are kind of stupid and cheesy… Thumbs down for me:(

  24. Barney says:

    wow!the jokes were awesome.

  25. tih says:

    So funny I like all of them

  26. Sana says:

    Very good jokes i
    laughed so hard

  27. lolliy says:

    love the last one the son is asking for $ and the dad is saying NO

  28. chubby says:

    These are awesome fathers day jokes keep them coming

  29. Smelly chloe says:

    Hahaha….but some are not so funny.😒

  30. jim says:

    ha ha ha! those jokes are so funny!

  31. donnawade says:

    Fun, guffawing jokes~~’tho too many w/”son”~~none w/daughters…boo, hiss.

  32. jack says:

    These are great

  33. Silly says:

    This jokes are really funny and silly to me.

  34. Tenderheart0512 says:

    Hahahaha! Hilarious! Especially the one about the four fathers and the genes (jeans). The are crazy funny!

  35. hellopeeps says:

    the seven up one and the dear dad one are the funniest.

  36. top dog says:

    they are funny man who comes up with that.

  37. i am minecraft man.... says:

    they are so funny well most of them

  38. Hello says:

    I hate them

  39. rendy says:

    nice it will heip me a lot on fathers day

  40. U CAN'T TRACE ME says:

    The 1 w/ the $ sign is so hi-larious.

  41. Python101 says:

    These are awesome jokes. If any people out there that wrote these, you’re awesome!!!

  42. StarWarsNerd says:

    I love the 7-Up one!!!!!!!! SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. Dudeman3 says:

    The popsicle one is funniest! :D

  44. m1a1 abram says:

    these are awesome
    especially the one about four fathers at the hospital

  45. benny2c says:

    im the joker in my house and these jokes are garanted to crack him up.

  46. Awe$ome Luke says:

    I laughed at all of them

  47. Seanimo says:

    These are funny and awesome man!!!!!

  48. Fire885 says:


  49. I'm with stupid says:

    These are so funny! Ecspeicaly science teacher: when is the boiling point reached? science student: when my dad reads my report card!

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