Recent Comments

20 funny jokes for Father’s Day

Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.


Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.

Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.

A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio

Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

— Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.

A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.

Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.

Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa

Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.

Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.

Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.

Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.

Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.

Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.

Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

— Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

209 Comments on 20 funny jokes for Father’s Day

  1. Mailburro+Alfalfa= Pedro // June 20, 2011 at 1:29 pm // Reply

    That one kid wanted to have 10$

  2. jameswawawa // June 19, 2011 at 5:29 pm // Reply


  3. i love the$e and i kNOw you will like thi$.

  4. i agree with my5kidsdad (my dad)

  5. my5kidsdad // June 19, 2011 at 4:55 pm // Reply

    This was some funny stuff my Webelos found. Thanks Boys Life for putting it here for him to find!

  6. chessmaster // June 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm // Reply

    Ah, classic ones. The last one and the hospital waiting room ones have been favorites of mine.

  7. good $tuff for gene wearers

  8. auqaubreather // June 19, 2011 at 10:38 am // Reply

    Ra$co, looks like you got alot money can I borrow $1,000,000.

  9. auqaubreather // June 19, 2011 at 10:28 am // Reply

    What do you say about the last .That was pretty funny.Oh I got to go talk to Noah Lot.

  10. The last one will come in handy when my son goes to college….

1 2 3 4 18

Leave a Reply

Please do not use your real name.