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20 funny Mother’s Day jokes

Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for her.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

 

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

Submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.


Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.


Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

Submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.


Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.


Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.

Submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.


Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”

Submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!

Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.

“How do you know?” the boy asks.

The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.


Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

Submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.


Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”

Submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.


Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.

Submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.


A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.


Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

Submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.


Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.


Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.

Submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.


Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.


Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.


Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

Submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.


90 Comments on 20 funny Mother’s Day jokes

  1. hamburger bun // April 30, 2014 at 12:56 pm // Reply

    these are sooo funny.

  2. very nice

  3. funny! =D

  4. hi people the jokes were funny

  5. These are good jokes!!!
    Maybe write some more

  6. Ok funny;-) :-D

  7. cutelaugh123 // March 24, 2014 at 9:58 am // Reply

    Cute jokes.:-)

  8. Son:you know why I love you?

    Mom:because I’m your mommy?

    Son:no…

    Mom:then why do you love me?

    Son:because you got me cookies.

  9. funny cute and for your mom

  10. Happy Face 1234 // November 30, 2013 at 8:04 pm // Reply

    It was awesome! Nice Jokes! My favorite joke was the one with Larry’s mother!

  11. Like it

  12. I’m not cracking up but they r clever

  13. Funny 

  14. i thought they were asome and cool and cool i dont like them thoe because i love them :)

  15. i have the BEST mom ever!! // June 16, 2013 at 8:28 pm // Reply

    FUNNY
    :

  16. Way cool

  17. Cool that’s so funny🎼

  18. so…………………funny

  19. Is cool :)

  20. Funny

  21. Lol

  22. Alex Mercer // May 11, 2013 at 11:55 am // Reply

    I’m making a mother’s day card, and I’m about to blow my cover, I’m laughing too much! XD

  23. funny lol:)

  24. pizzaman // May 9, 2013 at 4:09 pm // Reply

    funny and cute

  25. these jokes are super funny

  26. 4ever funny // May 4, 2013 at 9:33 am // Reply

    These jokes are halarirous! They crack me up! They describe me peeps! Just look at my nickname! Stay funny!

  27. SOOOO HILARIOUS!

  28. Super funny. I’m using a few for my moms Mother’s Day card :)

  29. Verry fuuuuuuuuny

  30. rithick420 // March 9, 2013 at 12:18 pm // Reply

    that was very funny lol !!!!!!!!!

  31. Lol so funny my mum killed it when I told her!:-)

  32. :) ha ha ha:)

  33. Super…

  34. Very funny

  35. Awesome,FUNNY and cool jokes! Thumbs up!:-)

  36. stroganov // May 13, 2012 at 5:31 am // Reply

    cool jokes

  37. lauren de great // May 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm // Reply

    lol i luved the clock joke… theeese jokes are pur-fect 4 my moms card!!!!!THANKS

  38. that is too funny!!:)

  39. ha! ha!

  40. Broney22 // May 8, 2012 at 7:22 pm // Reply

    Lol.

  41. Messi: I can’t believe I didn’t score that goal!
    Frank: I know why.
    Messi: Why?
    Frank: You’re so messy!

  42. Very funny

  43. Crazy-I-Joe // May 7, 2012 at 10:09 pm // Reply

    another joke Daffynition: mothership — Your mothers hip ( or your mothers ship)

  44. OK ANSWER/BURGER BOY // May 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm // Reply

    FUNNY!!!! :) :P :D :lol:

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