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19 Funny Fourth of July jokes

Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Fourth of July joke? Click here to send it to us.

fourthofjuly


Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Submitted by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.


Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Submitted by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.


Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Submitted by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.


A book never written: “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.

Submitted by Jason F., Hillsborough, N.J.


Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.


Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Submitted by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.


A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Submitted by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.


Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Submitted by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.


Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Submitted by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.


A book never written: “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard.

Submitted by Sam B., Hingham, Mass.


Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Submitted by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.


Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Submitted by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.


Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.


Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Submitted by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.


A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Submitted by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.


Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Submitted by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.


Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Submitted by John D., Richmond, Va.


Fred: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
Joe: This one is a toughy.
Fred: Aretha Franklin!

Submitted by Kevin V., Monrovia, Calif.


A book never written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.

Submitted by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.


50 Comments on 19 Funny Fourth of July jokes

  1. Crazy cat lady // June 28, 2017 at 2:45 pm // Reply

    I like the one about chicken catch-a-tory.

  2. CooL!!!!!!!!

  3. 😛😛LOL

  4. beast bean // June 24, 2016 at 5:35 pm // Reply

    I loved the joke that said, “does europe have a fourth of july?” “no” “yes, it comes right after the third of july”

  5. j runner 10 // June 24, 2016 at 10:11 am // Reply

    must have more

    • Need To Get To Eagle!! // July 3, 2016 at 9:19 pm // Reply

      Yea, it’s supposed to be “Does England have a 4th of July,” because we fought them, not all of Europe.

  6. 😀COOL

  7. TheEgyptianNaturalized // June 21, 2016 at 7:36 am // Reply

    most of these were really corny but still funny

  8. I don’t get the boat one

  9. I love these jokes

  10. wolf cub scout // July 4, 2015 at 9:27 pm // Reply

    funny!

  11. cool

  12. I think there’s only 1 funny joke the 18th

  13. Funny most some corny. Mostly humorous

  14. How do I post a joke

  15. it’s hard do not get those jokes! There are some very funny ones but not all!

  16. THEESE ARE GREAT KNOCK KNOCK JOKES!

  17. i lke the lst one the bst

  18. i have seen most elsewhere…

  19. Lol

  20. awesome

  21. weird

  22. sillypig6000 // July 10, 2014 at 4:01 pm // Reply

    ribtickling

  23. I didn’t get none of these “Jokes” some sounded like actual historical fact

  24. some are funny some are not.

  25. KingJudoKittyCat // July 3, 2014 at 11:28 am // Reply

    Awesome Jokes!

  26. Quiz-wizz // July 1, 2014 at 3:44 pm // Reply

    I told the sad candy cane 1 to my Grandma.

  27. Hilarious! Hahaha!

  28. HikingBrainiack // June 25, 2014 at 9:06 am // Reply

    Awsome

  29. Redpuffleguy // June 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm // Reply

    I don’t get it.

  30. awesome

  31. I love them

  32. chicken eater // October 17, 2013 at 4:18 pm // Reply

    I dont get the jokes.

  33. hahaha

  34. I loved it

  35. funniest jokes I ever read!

  36. 1234567890 // July 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm // Reply

    VERY,VERY funny

  37. hippie man // July 4, 2013 at 3:38 pm // Reply

    funny! happy fourth of july!

  38. funniest jokes I ever read!

  39. Very Funny!! WEEEEE DOGGIE

  40. Veeeryy..funnny

  41. FUNNY HAHAHAHA

  42. lolololololololol // August 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm // Reply

    cool

  43. I liked the tea party one, Europes Fourth of July, and the Statue of Liberty.

  44. The Rocket // July 3, 2012 at 7:22 am // Reply

    Most are funny hahaha!

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