Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.
Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.
Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio
Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.
Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.
Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.
Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.
Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.
Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.
Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.
Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.
Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.
Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.
Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio
Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.
Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.
Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.
A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.
Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Jess: It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.
Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.
Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.
Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.
Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.
Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.
Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.
Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.
Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.
Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.
A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.
Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.
Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.
Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.
Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.
Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.
Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.
Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.