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35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.

pumpkin


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

266 Comments on 35 funny Halloween jokes

  1. The jokes are weird but there creative.

  2. Love these jokes!!! I’m DIEING to hear another. Wait I have one.

    Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?

    A. He did not have the guts.

  3. Your jokes are funny.

  4. these are really funny

  5. these jokes are rilly funny my sun rily liked the jokes i did to

  6. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because seven ate nine!

  7. cool
    I don’t now where you get this from but its so cool

  8. why did the potato want to go to France? well DUH! he wanted to become a FRENCH FRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Lucy:Why did the raven cross the road?
    Freddy:why???
    Lucy:To prove he was no chicken.

  10. eh these jokes are ok, their pretty good, just not funny to me

  11. So lame

  12. i luv them so much i fell off my chair!

  13. the 2 ghouls! // October 31, 2014 at 11:51 am // Reply

    a lot of them were not at all funny and some of them did not make sense.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by bella and jEMMA

  14. Love lol 😻 🙊😖😆😆😆😂😭😂😂

  15. I’ve got another joke to add to the list: What do you get when you cross a Coker spaniel a poodle and a ghost : A Coker-Poodle-Boo!

  16. Sadie and Emily // October 31, 2014 at 9:36 am // Reply

    Good but bad

  17. I love these jokes. My favorite one is about the vampire and the mouthwash. What do you get when you cross my cat Brody and a jack-o-lantern costume? CUTENESS!!!!

  18. I can’t believe they came up with those!

  19. Funny joke’s

  20. The boogie man was funny

  21. Get lost

  22. Really funny

  23. FlyingMonkey99 // October 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm // Reply

    These jokes are hilarious

  24. I’ve got one –

    What do u get when you come across a vampire and a snowman ????

    Frostbite!!!!!

  25. Hola, Señor // October 28, 2014 at 1:44 pm // Reply

    Funny!

  26. so funny keep it coming

  27. These r so funny

  28. Love it

  29. These are going to be good for my class

  30. HA!!!!!! CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. My friend doesn’t like these jokes but I do.

  32. i love these jokes

  33. nice. how do 9 or 10 year olds come up with these amazing jokes

  34. Well i know my new jokes

  35. I think some of these Jokes are a dead-end. Actually most of them are pretty lively! Sorry guys, I think its time to burry my puns before I dig my own grave even deeper.

  36. I just love puns.

  37. flaming good jokes

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