35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.

Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.

Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.

A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.

Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.

Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.

Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.

Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.

Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.

Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.

Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.

A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.

Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.

Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.

Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.

Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.

Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.

Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

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Comments about “35 funny Halloween jokes”

  1. RubyS says:

    I loved these jokes

  2. mj 4 ever says:

    what did the mother ghost say to her son dont spook in less you wear spookn to

  3. mama one direction says:

    hey i love one direction more that those jokes

  4. goldilox says:

    i just write these down now i an going to use these for jokes thanks xx

  5. hello says:

    why didnt the sceliton go swimming

  6. ty says:

    Cool jokes everyone but i got one more
    abby: “What did Isabella say 2 the ghost?”
    Bay: “What??”
    abby: ” Watcha Booo-ing???

  7. awesomeperson says:

    I only like the joke about the monster rolling eyeballs back to a lady.

  8. Snail says:

    Cool jokes could use these for challenges!

  9. cupcake says:

    cool jokes

  10. mulleenio says:

    These jokes made me physically ill.

  11. Blah says:

    Lol my mom thought these were hysterical
    🎃👻happy Halloween!!

  12. fun E. says:

    who ever says these are bad dosn’t know how to laugh

  13. MageOfMoltor says:

    These jokes sure are a “scream”. [:D

  14. Godzilla 90,s says:

    ive got better ones like this !!!me:whats a skeletons favorite type of resturant zac:i dunno me: a joint!!!!

  15. Luc says:

    These jokes make me laugh out loud

  16. pimp c says:

    this are not funny at all

  17. Da poopster says:

    ha ha ha, very funny.

  18. maca-paca says:

    like the vampire jokes gunna use 3 this year:P

  19. ninja says:

    very funny

  20. gigi says:

    i love theses jokes they are absolutely hilarious

  21. Diaz says:

    Some were funny but the rest did not make sence

  22. Gooch says:

    There r to many jokes i cant keep track

  23. kitty hi says:

    they were pretty good well done

  24. Hallows Eve says:

    Hahahahahaha! That’s so corny! But they are funny oh so funny.

  25. Anonymous says:

    There funny

  26. says says says:


  27. Me says:

    They stink!

  28. colbs says:

    I like your jokes

  29. Me says:

    Too Funny!!!:)


    Like’em!!! :) :P :D :lol:

  31. CountSpatula4 says:

    They Were Ok.

  32. Anonymous says:

    they alright

  33. humza says:

    really liked laughed so much im using these for halloween 2011

  34. Ms. Leader says:

    Good ones!!!! :0)

  35. Cub Mom says:

    Haha! Bringing these to the Pack Meeting tonight!!

  36. Pedro says:

    Haha this makes me miss my Boy’s Life subscription.

  37. piratechick says:

    I can’t wait to share these at our pack mtg tonight

  38. mrdoofus says:

    funny funny funny funny funny funny funny

  39. mr scout says:

    sooooo funny!

  40. wolfee14 says:

    i looked at them and laughed but……..there was to many vampire jokes

  41. guys read says:

    ha ha

  42. lauph says:

    very amusing

  43. spyeye says:


  44. 353wsw says:

    My mom saw them, and laughed so hard she couldn’t talk!

  45. a girl says:

    hee hee ha ha lol

  46. :) says:

    hahahahahahahahahah(or) lol

  47. Game Masta a.k.a.1 4m 4w30m3 says:

    iLike them!

  48. p guy says:

    WA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Brac says:

    Ha!Ghost jokes!

  50. yeah says:

    funny so funny

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