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35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.

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Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

266 Comments on 35 funny Halloween jokes

  1. I loved these jokes

  2. what did the mother ghost say to her son dont spook in less you wear spookn to

  3. mama one direction // October 25, 2012 at 11:48 am // Reply

    hey i love one direction more that those jokes

  4. i just write these down now i an going to use these for jokes thanks xx

  5. why didnt the sceliton go swimming

  6. Cool jokes everyone but i got one more
    abby: “What did Isabella say 2 the ghost?”
    Bay: “What??”
    abby: ” Watcha Booo-ing???

  7. awesomeperson // October 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm // Reply

    I only like the joke about the monster rolling eyeballs back to a lady.

  8. Cool jokes could use these for challenges!

  9. cool jokes

  10. These jokes made me physically ill.

  11. Lol my mom thought these were hysterical
    🎃👻happy Halloween!!

  12. who ever says these are bad dosn’t know how to laugh

  13. MageOfMoltor // October 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm // Reply

    These jokes sure are a “scream”. [:D

  14. Godzilla 90,s // October 23, 2012 at 5:32 pm // Reply

    ive got better ones like this !!!me:whats a skeletons favorite type of resturant zac:i dunno me: a joint!!!!

  15. These jokes make me laugh out loud

  16. this are not funny at all

  17. ha ha ha, very funny.

  18. like the vampire jokes gunna use 3 this year:P

  19. very funny

  20. i love theses jokes they are absolutely hilarious

  21. Some were funny but the rest did not make sence

  22. There r to many jokes i cant keep track

  23. they were pretty good well done

  24. Hahahahahaha! That’s so corny! But they are funny oh so funny.

  25. There funny

  26. HA HA VERY FUNNY!

  27. They stink!

  28. I like your jokes

  29. Too Funny!!!:)

  30. OK ANSWER/BURGER BOY // May 3, 2012 at 9:55 am // Reply

    Like’em!!! :) :P :D :lol:

  31. CountSpatula4 // February 10, 2012 at 10:51 am // Reply

    They Were Ok.

  32. they alright

  33. really liked laughed so much im using these for halloween 2011

  34. Good ones!!!! :0)

  35. Haha! Bringing these to the Pack Meeting tonight!!

  36. Haha this makes me miss my Boy’s Life subscription.

  37. I can’t wait to share these at our pack mtg tonight

  38. funny funny funny funny funny funny funny

  39. sooooo funny!

  40. i looked at them and laughed but……..there was to many vampire jokes

  41. ha ha

  42. very amusing

  43. ROFLOLCOPTER!

  44. My mom saw them, and laughed so hard she couldn’t talk!

  45. hee hee ha ha lol

  46. hahahahahahahahahah(or) lol

  47. Game Masta a.k.a.1 4m 4w30m3 // October 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm // Reply

    iLike them!

  48. WA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Ha!Ghost jokes!

  50. funny so funny

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