35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.

Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.

Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.

A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.

Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.

Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.

Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.

Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.

Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.

Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.

Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.

A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.

Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.

Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.

Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.

Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.

Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.

Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

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Comments about “35 funny Halloween jokes”

  1. strawberry says:

    they are cool

  2. bacon says:

    best jokes ever

  3. scienceman says:

    these jokes pretty good

  4. bmxman says:

    when i told it to them they broke into laughs

  5. gluif says:

    those are some funny jokes. haha hehe

  6. cheese says:

    LOL i loved them !!! :-)

  7. em says:

    awsome for funny hallloween jokes for school home work like me

  8. Lord Molly says:

    Funny jokes they are that good I am having them for my Halloween party!!!
    THANKS. :). :). :)

  9. good or bad! says:

    Some were funny but most of them were bad.

  10. rae says:

    Cool jokes

  11. Becky says:

    These jokes made my little brother crack up thanks for posting these

  12. Caca says:

    Some good some bad

  13. tahler says:

    funny stuff

  14. Auttyinloveinlove says:

    those are so funny!

  15. Tace77 says:

    Kind of funny

  16. All-Pro-Gamerz says:

    I told my brother and he broke up with laughfulness

  17. Anonymous says:

    very funny xx

  18. thermonuclear hotcakes says:

    Funny stuff

  19. aaa says:

    these jokes are corny

  20. scarlette says:

    not that funny…

  21. marques says:

    these stink

  22. jones says:

    not that funny but it is good.

  23. fred says:

    I thought some were good and some not really good

  24. Mystic says:

    Those were funny my friend burst out in laughter when I told her!

  25. jisu says:

    ha ha ha

  26. jisu says:

    ha ha funny..i enjoyed them a lot…
    especially the one about the lady and the ghost that must be a gentleman ha ha ha….

  27. bloodmerry says:

    theyre all spooky jokes

  28. jenah says:

    lol hilarious

  29. Chichy02 says:


  30. Mow says:

    That is so funny

  31. minny mong says:

    lol ha funny but good

  32. aj says:

    i think there all funny

  33. Butter says:

    Some real funny.

  34. occmed says:

    Funny for the KIDS that submitted them. Good job kids!!!

  35. cupcake says:

    i found some of them funny but some i did not understand

  36. pumpkin says:

    these are hullarios!!!!!

  37. KeKe says:

    I have one:
    Tyler: Knock Knock
    JaJa: who’s there
    JaJa: Boo who
    Tyler: why Are you crying
    JaJa: Of corse

  38. Gx134 says:

    Some were quite good!

  39. lobyloo says:

    they are relly funny

  40. Broadway says:

    Oh come on, obviously you couldn’t find a joke on your own and at least they tried.Thank-you.

  41. halloween kid says:

    some were good but others were bad

  42. mrshodge says:

    The jokes are too cute!!!!

  43. kay says says:

    they are pritty funny

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