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35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.

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Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

266 Comments on 35 funny Halloween jokes

  1. they are cool

  2. best jokes ever

  3. these jokes pretty good

  4. when i told it to them they broke into laughs

  5. those are some funny jokes. haha hehe

  6. LOL i loved them !!! :-)

  7. ok

  8. awsome for funny hallloween jokes for school home work like me

  9. Funny jokes they are that good I am having them for my Halloween party!!!
    THANKS. :). :). :)

  10. good or bad! // October 16, 2013 at 5:36 am // Reply

    Some were funny but most of them were bad.

  11. Cool jokes

  12. These jokes made my little brother crack up thanks for posting these

  13. Some good some bad

  14. lol

  15. funny stuff

  16. Auttyinloveinlove // September 18, 2013 at 1:31 pm // Reply

    those are so funny!

  17. Kind of funny

  18. All-Pro-Gamerz // November 14, 2012 at 8:19 pm // Reply

    I told my brother and he broke up with laughfulness

  19. very funny xx

  20. thermonuclear hotcakes // November 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm // Reply

    Funny stuff

  21. these jokes are corny

  22. not that funny…

  23. these stink

  24. not that funny but it is good.

  25. I thought some were good and some not really good

  26. Those were funny my friend burst out in laughter when I told her!

  27. ha ha ha

  28. ha ha funny..i enjoyed them a lot…
    especially the one about the lady and the ghost that must be a gentleman ha ha ha….

  29. theyre all spooky jokes

  30. lol hilarious

  31. Funny

  32. That is so funny

  33. lol ha funny but good

  34. i think there all funny

  35. Some real funny.

  36. Funny for the KIDS that submitted them. Good job kids!!!

  37. i found some of them funny but some i did not understand

  38. these are hullarios!!!!!

  39. I have one:
    Tyler: Knock Knock
    JaJa: who’s there
    Tyler:Boo
    JaJa: Boo who
    Tyler: why Are you crying
    JaJa: Of corse

  40. Some were quite good!

  41. they are relly funny

  42. Oh come on, obviously you couldn’t find a joke on your own and at least they tried.Thank-you.

  43. halloween kid // October 31, 2012 at 11:47 am // Reply

    some were good but others were bad

  44. The jokes are too cute!!!!

  45. they are pritty funny

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