35 funny Halloween jokes

Happy Halloween! Here are 35 funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers that will make you scream with laughter. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send it in.


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

Brett: What do mummies like listening to?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Submitted by Maxwell C.

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.

Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.

Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.

A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.

Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.

Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.

Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.

Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.

Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.

Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.

Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.

A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.

Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.

Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.

Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.

Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.

Daffynition: Retreat—To get another piece of candy.
Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.

Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

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Comments about “35 funny Halloween jokes”

  1. cool kids says:

    The jokes are weird but there creative.

  2. LONE WOLF says:

    Love these jokes!!! I’m DIEING to hear another. Wait I have one.

    Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?

    A. He did not have the guts.

  3. James says:

    Your jokes are funny.

  4. ally says:

    these are really funny

  5. Anonymous says:

    these jokes are rilly funny my sun rily liked the jokes i did to

  6. Anonymous says:

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because seven ate nine!

  7. vi says:

    I don’t now where you get this from but its so cool

  8. bananas says:

    why did the potato want to go to France? well DUH! he wanted to become a FRENCH FRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. freddy says:

    Lucy:Why did the raven cross the road?
    Lucy:To prove he was no chicken.

  10. rob zombie says:

    eh these jokes are ok, their pretty good, just not funny to me

  11. live says:

    i luv them so much i fell off my chair!

  12. the 2 ghouls! says:

    a lot of them were not at all funny and some of them did not make sense.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by bella and jEMMA

  13. Cool says:

    Love lol 😻 🙊😖😆😆😆😂😭😂😂

  14. Dougie says:

    I’ve got another joke to add to the list: What do you get when you cross a Coker spaniel a poodle and a ghost : A Coker-Poodle-Boo!

  15. Sadie and Emily says:

    Good but bad

  16. Dawn says:

    I love these jokes. My favorite one is about the vampire and the mouthwash. What do you get when you cross my cat Brody and a jack-o-lantern costume? CUTENESS!!!!

  17. Cadence says:

    I can’t believe they came up with those!

  18. mirissa says:

    Funny joke’s

  19. Rosie says:

    The boogie man was funny

  20. Your mum says:

    Get lost

  21. Funny says:

    Really funny

  22. FlyingMonkey99 says:

    These jokes are hilarious

  23. Paper clip says:

    I’ve got one –

    What do u get when you come across a vampire and a snowman ????


  24. Hola, Señor says:


  25. jj says:

    so funny keep it coming

  26. Dracula says:

    These r so funny

  27. doode says:

    Love it

  28. t or nawl says:

    These are going to be good for my class

  29. St says:

    HA!!!!!! CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. snickers says:

    My friend doesn’t like these jokes but I do.

  31. snickers says:

    i love these jokes

  32. Key-Chain says:

    nice. how do 9 or 10 year olds come up with these amazing jokes

  33. D says:

    Well i know my new jokes

  34. IDK says:

    I think some of these Jokes are a dead-end. Actually most of them are pretty lively! Sorry guys, I think its time to burry my puns before I dig my own grave even deeper.

  35. Monica says:

    I just love puns.

  36. Coal-mine says:

    flaming good jokes

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