Recent Comments

62 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.


halloween-1

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Comic by Scott Nickel


Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


halloween-1

Comic by Daryll Collins


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas


Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.


comic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Comic by Thomastoons


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.


halloween-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


comic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.


halloween-3

Comic by Scott Nickel


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


comic-3

Comic by Thomastoons


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.


halloween-4

Comic by Jon Carter


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


halloween-5

Comic by Scott Nickel


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Joke submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


halloween-6

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


halloween-7

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

43 Comments on 62 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

  1. Funny jokes haha😂😂

  2. it so funny that it made me cry

  3. these are so helpful and very good jokes!thank you for having this joke website and for letting people use it!

  4. its ok

  5. we love these jokes wish you can do more

  6. Good funny halloween jokes :)lol

  7. Why do Computer Scientist always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

    Because OCT(al) 31 = DEC(imal) 25

  8. i love the jokes lol

  9. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha very funny jokes. Best jokes I have heard yet. I can not think of better jokes wish you would make some for every season. HINT HINT
    I hope you get the hint.

  10. love the tacky humor! wish there were more

  11. That was awsome

  12. These are boring and dumb

  13. the one joke with the ghoul scouts it really should be the cookie monster

  14. That was fang-tastic

  15. Happy Halloween

  16. more jokes

  17. James what did the chimney say to the other
    Bob no clue
    James you are not aloud to smoke

  18. love the jokes and good to use them for halloween

  19. I seen better // October 31, 2016 at 2:17 am // Reply

    Most of them were rubbish

  20. Thanks so much! #Last minute halloween need!

  21. Worst. Jokes ever🖕

  22. what did the vampire keep for a pet?
    A bloodhound! 😀

  23. Great jokes but add more jokes of goblins,pumpkins ,witches and others other than ghosts and vampires

  24. Cool 😎

  25. Why couldn’t the skeleton dance? he had no body to dance with

  26. Great jokes. Wish there were more.

  27. SoccerStar10 // October 22, 2016 at 10:52 pm // Reply

    Some of these are great jokes and some are not as good.

  28. They are supposed to be funny. That’s what jokes are. Jokes aren’t really scary. I think they are great.

  29. Mrs. Awesomness // October 16, 2016 at 8:23 pm // Reply

    I like your jokes

  30. Your jokes are boo-tiful!

  31. Mark: What room can’t the skeloton go in?
    Josh: I don’t know what room can’t the skeloton go in?
    Mark: The living room

  32. boogie storm // June 26, 2016 at 4:29 pm // Reply

    I thought it was really AWESOME

  33. I think thay are funny not scary

  34. Hilarious love it

Leave a Reply to Scotts19 Cancel reply

Please do not use your real name.