Some English words are weird

Dear Pedro, I’ve always wondered why a donkey is sometimes called an ass? Some English words are weird — quicksand is slow, you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway. I wonder where we got some of these words.
– Zach L., Dallas, Ga.

Donkeys (or burros) are scientifically called equus asinus — the domestic ass. Since I one of kind, I’m shooting for the special classification of mailburrricus magnificus. Nobody seems interested, though.