Dear Psychotically Awesome, Insanely-Not-Normal, Bird-in-a-Fishbowl, Weird Pedro, You should form a workers union. Demand better sleeping hours and hay raises (get it?). You do not have to stand for his craziness. Burros unite!
—Dean H., Glenview, Ill.
Thanks for the pep talk, Dean. I’ll have to unite with myself—I’ve never seen another burro clip-clopping around Irving. But I do manage to squeeze in just enough sleep and nourishment (The Boss isn’t always looking).