Dear Pedro, I went to Philmont this summer and was assigned a burro during the last two days. The funny thing was that we gained about 400 feet in elevation the first day with him. Apparently, he escaped from his corral twice during the first night. I hope none of the crews you joined had to put up with that.
—Ethan G., New Palestine, Ind.
I'm not talking, Ethan. What happened at Philmont is going to stay at Philmont.
Dear Crazy Mailburro, What is your shirt size and shoe size? Also, what is The Boss's name?
-- Matthew R., Metter, Ga.
Because of my unique proportions, my sweater and burroshoes are custom made, Matthew. And The Boss is, quite simply, The Boss (and he'll let you know it, too).
Dear Pedro, Are you friends with Pee Wee Harris? Have you even been in a B-17 bomber, and do you like the R.A.F (Royal Air Force)?
—Conor F., Richmond, Va.
I'm friends with everyone, Conor. They don't make a flight mask to fit my distinctive schnozzola, so I enjoy B-17s (and the R.A.F) from a distance.
Hi, Totally Awesome Burro Pedro, What's up? I'm a huge fan of yours! Why is The Boss so mean to you? I mean you are lazy, but he is kind of mean.
—Jaume P., Charlottesville, Va.
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Jaume. I just have different priorities than The Boss. Burros are sensitive creatures, and we need lots of rest and nourishment. And The Boss isn't mean…he just gets aggravated (very aggravated at times).
Dear Super Wacky Burro, You are kind of wacky sometimes, and have you ever been caught in a rip current?
—Nate G., Allen, Tex.
To get caught in a rip current I would have to go swimming in the ocean, Nate. I guess I'm not that wacky. Salt water might crack my hooves.
Dear Pedro, I would totally try alfalfa ice cream! Hope The Boss isn't working you too hard (but I think I know the answer!).
—Amelia L. Jackson, Tenn.
You might be surprised by the answer, Amelia (so might The Boss).
Dear Pedro, What is your idea of the perfect vacation?
—Nico M., Mililani, Hi.
Actually, Nico, when The Boss takes his vacation it's pretty sweet around here. (I hope he doesn't read this—he might cancel his trip.)
Dear Crazy, Wacky Pedro, Do you like airplanes, or do you get sick on them? Also, why do you always wear the same sweater?
—Andrew M., Eden Prairie, Minn.
I like airplanes about as much as I like canoes, Andrew. And I think I look good in purple.
Dear Pedro, I like to read all the jokes and I keep trying to submit one but can't. How do you do it?
—Colin P., Yardley, Pa.
Go to the jokes section of this site, Colin, and under "Send Us Your Funny Jokes" just click on the link. Fill out the form and hit send. Or you can drop us a postcard.
Dear Pedro, It's funny when you twist a lot and get stuck. And you are so awesome!
—James J., Scottsdale, Ariz.
Hummmm, thanks, James.