JOKES
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Joke of the DayA mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.“How do you know?” the boy asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”
Submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “Where’s my bacon?” Tom snorted.
Submitted by John L., South Bend, Ind.
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Dan: What do you call a powerful prehistoric explosive?
Dad: What?
Dan: Dino-mite!
Submitted by Daniel K., Crystal Lake, Ill.
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Daffynition: Fahrenheit—Average sized.
Submitted by Joshua L., Dublin, Va.
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A book never written: “Fear of Bath Time” by Dwayne DeWatta.
Submitted by Joshua P., San Antonio, Tex.
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Pee Wee: What did King Tut say when he had a nightmare?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “I want my mummy!”
Submitted by Tim K., Tallahassee, Fla.
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A book never written: “Landlords” by Lisa House.
Submitted by Nathaniel C., Burke, Va.
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Nicky: Last time I sang, my voice fell upon a thousand ears.
Ricky: Really? Where were you singing?
Nicky: In a cornfield.
Submitted by Quentin L., Kelowna, B.C.
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If Burger King and Dairy Queen married, would their child make ice-cream sandwiches?”
Submitted by Mikey T., Portland, Ore.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’d like some more blackberry pie!” Tom crowed.
Submitted by Shelly N., Falls Church, Va.
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A book never written: “Unconscious” by Ann Esthesia.
Submitted by Max J., Ligonier, Pa.
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Peter: How do owls type?
Elaine: Beats me
Peter: They hunt and peck!
Submitted by Wesley B., Cairo, Egypt
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A book never written: “Cracking Up on the Beach” by Koko Nutt.
Submitted by Sam R., Ellicott, Md.
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Nathaniel: What has a head and a tail, but no body?
Bob: What?
Nathaniel: A penny!
Submitted by Nathaniel C., Burke, Va.
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Daffynition: Emotion—Electronic movement.
Submitted by Aaron S., Northglenn, Colo.
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Cody: Why are clocks never late?
Davis: Beats me.
Cody: Because they have so much time on their hands!
Submitted by Cody U., Missouri City, Tex.
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Boys' Life will send you this Collector Edition patch and your choice of $2 ($10 for Pedro's Pick), a Scout "Handbook" or a "Fieldbook" for each joke of yours we publish in the printed magazine.
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