Teacher: Name the two days of the week that start with “t.”
Student: Today and tomorrow.
A book never written: “How to Make Pizza” by Alotto Dough.
Joe: What illness did the roof have?
Bill: Tell me.
A book never written: “My Favorite Meat” by Sir Loin.
Ben: Why should you never tell your secrets to a pig?
Ben: Because they always squeal!
Doctor: Mr. Jones, we should really sew up that gash in your leg.
Mr. Jones: No way!
Doctor: Suture self.