A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the boy asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Tom Swiftie: “Where’s my bacon?” Tom snorted.

Dan: What do you call a powerful prehistoric explosive?
Dad: What?
Dan: Dino-mite!

Daffynition: Fahrenheit—Average sized.

A book never written: “Fear of Bath Time” by Dwayne DeWatta.

Pee Wee: What did King Tut say when he had a nightmare?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “I want my mummy!”

A book never written: “Landlords” by Lisa House.

Nicky: Last time I sang, my voice fell upon a thousand ears.
Ricky: Really? Where were you singing?
Nicky: In a cornfield.

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If Burger King and Dairy Queen married, would their child make ice-cream sandwiches?”

Tom Swiftie: “I’d like some more blackberry pie!” Tom crowed.