A book never written: “Vegetarian Recipes” by Connor
Matt: Why do opera singers make good sailors? Keith: Why? Matt: They can handle high
Tom Swiftie: “Light the fuse,” Tom said
Asher: Why did the bridge ask for a pen and paper? Jamie: Why? Asher: Because it was a
Bob: What can be driven but has no wheels and can be sliced but stays whole? John: I have no clue. Bob: A golf
A book never written: “How to Make an Honest Living” by Robin
Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Tom: What? Tim: Lots of blood
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy
Robert: Knock, knock. Jack: Who’s there? Robert: Beets. Jack: Beets, who? Robert: Beets
Preston: What is round and has a really bad temper? Louis: What? Preston: A vicious
Mea: What kind of lights did Noah put on the ark? Millie: What? Mea:
A book never written: “My Life in Outer Space” by I.
Nathanael: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who’s there? Nathanael: Distressing. Cindy: Distressing, who? Nathanael: Distressing has too much
A book never written: “How to Learn Your States” by Mrs.
Warped Wiseman wonders: Why is mail that goes by sea called “CARgo” and mail that goes by land called
Patient: Doc, I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy.
A book never written: “How to Defend a Fort” by Sir
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear
Sam: Knock, knock! Grant: Who’s there? Sam: Little old lady. Grant: Little old lady, who? Sam: Wow! I didn’t know you could
Daffynition: Going against the grain — Being on a no-carb
Karen: What do you get when you cross a Mustang and an elephant? Dan: What? Karen: A convertible with a big
A book never written: “The Scout Symbol” by Flora D.
Tom Swiftie: “Didn’t you see the train?” Tom
Al: Isn’t this beastly weather we’re having? Hal: What do you mean? Al: It’s raining cats and
A book never written: “A Joke Book” by R. U.
Teacher: Why are you wearing so much makeup today? Jade: I thought you said we were having a makeup
Rolf: What do you get when you cross a hula dancer with a boxer? Chris: What? Rolf: Hawaiian
Customer: Do you serve crabs here? Waiter: We serve everyone. Sit right
Daffynition: Vegetarian — Native American word for “poor
Braden: What kind of car does a snake drive? Hayden: What? Braden: An
A book never written: “I Get It!” by Mrs.
A book never written: “How to Lay the Blame” by Pedro S.
Philip: What did one slice of bread say to the other? Elva: What? Philip: “Stop loafing
Quinn: Knock, knock. Ron: Who’s there? Quinn: Jess. Ron: Jess, who? Quinn: Jess me and my
A book never written: “The Splendor of Autumn” by Ray
Bob: When do trees fall? Joe: No clue. When? Bob:
Daffynition: Fireproof — the boss’s