TOM SWIFTIE

• • “Where’s my bacon?”
    Tom Swiftie: “Where’s my bacon?” Tom snorted.

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    Submitted by John L., South Bend, Ind.
    
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  • “More blackberry pie!”
    Tom Swiftie: “I’d like some more blackberry pie!” Tom crowed.

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    Submitted by Shelly N., Falls Church, Va.
    
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  • “I don’t want a shot”
    Tom Swiftie: “I don’t want a shot,” Tom said in vain.

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    Submitted by Chasen T., Pearblossom, Calif.
    
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  • Can’t think of anything.
    Tom Swiftie: “I can’t think of anything for my paper,” Tom said blankly.

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    Submitted by Jonas O., Seminole, Fla.
    
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  • “May I borrow your drill?”
    Tom Swiftie: “May I borrow your drill?” Tom asked boringly.

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    Submitted by William C., McAllen, Tex.
    
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  • “There’s a storm coming!”
    Tom Swiftie: “There’s a storm coming!” Tom thundered.

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    Submitted by Sean W., Waldorf, Md.
    
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  • “Get that dog off my lawn”
    Tom Swiftie: “Get that dog off my lawn,” Tom barked.

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    Submitted by Justin F., Canton, Conn.
    
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  • “Don’t rush me!”
    Tom Swiftie: “Don’t rush me!” Tom said hastily.

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    Submitted by Dave W., Dalhart, Tex.
    
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  • “Oil prices sure are high”
    Tom Swiftie: “Oil prices sure are high,” Tom said crudely.

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    Submitted by Drew B., Elkhart, Ind.
    
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  • Moving to the back of the boat.
    Tom Swiftie: “I’m moving to the back of the boat,” Tom said sternly.

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    Submitted by John G., Goldens Bridge, N.Y.
    
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  • “I like catsup”
    Tom Swiftie: “I like catsup,” Tom mustered.

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    Submitted by Travis H., Olathe, Kan
    
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  • “I need a pencil sharpener”
    Tom Swiftie: “I need a pencil sharpener,” Tom said bluntly.

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    Submitted by Nollan C., Brush Prairie, Wash.
    
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  • “Don’t push that button”
    Tom Swiftie: “Don’t push that button,” Tom exploded.

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    Submitted by Reagan B., Konawa, Okla.
    
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  • “Colorado joined the Union in 1876”
    Tom Swiftie: “Colorado joined the Union in 1876,” Tom stated.

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    Submitted by James O., Bakersfield, Calif.
    
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  • “I might as well be dead”
    Tom Swiftie: “I might as well be dead,” Tom croaked.

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    Submitted by Robert M., Jasper, Ga.
    
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  • “Can I go looking for the Grail again?”
    Tom Swiftie: “Can I go looking for the Grail again?” Tom requested.

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    Submitted by Robert M., Jasper, Ga.
    
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  • “I wish I could get a part”
    Tom Swiftie: “I wish I could get a part in the play,” Tom said dramatically.

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    Submitted by Chandler J., Chesterfield, Va.
    
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  • “I like camping”
    Tom Swiftie: “I like camping,” Tom said intently.

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    Submitted by Sean W., Waldorf, Md.
    
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  • “My lantern is broken…”
    Tom Swiftie: “My lantern is broken and I’m out of candles!” Tom cried delightedly.

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    Submitted by Matthew W., Delray, W.Va.
    
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  • “We need hot dogs”
    Tom Swiftie: “We need hot dogs,” Tom said frankly.

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    Submitted by Allen S., Cincinnati, Ohio
    
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  • “The right to remain silent”
    Tom Swiftie: “You have the right to remain silent,” Tom said arrestingly.

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    Submitted by Michael H., Senatobia, Miss.
    
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  • “I love meat and potatoes”
    Tom Swiftie: “I love meat and potatoes,” Tom said heartily.

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    Submitted by Benjamin M., Otis, Ore.
    
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  • I accidentally hit Pedro.
    Tom Swiftie: “I accidentally hit Pedro on the head with a rock,” Tom said bashfully.

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    Submitted by Daniel M., West Brookfield, Mass.
    
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  • “Don’t burn the bacon!”
    Tom Swiftie: “Don’t burn the bacon!” Tom said crisply.

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    Submitted by Ryan K., Danbury, Conn.
    
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  • “A left at the cemetery”
    Tom Swiftie: “Take a right and then a left at the cemetery,” Tom said gravely.

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    Submitted by Jared S., Fairfax, Va.
    
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  • “I’ll go feed the horses now”
    Tom Swiftie: “I’ll go feed the horses now,” Tom said balefully.

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    Submitted by Shaan P., Belle Mead, N.J.
    
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  • “Let’s make our own Valentines”
    Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.

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    Submitted by Kevin A., Winston-Salem, N.C.
    
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  • “I can’t find my snake”
    Tom Swiftie: “I can’t find my pet snake!” Tom hissed.

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    Submitted by Walter G., San Francisco, Calif.
    
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  • “My walking stick broke”
    Tom Swiftie: “My walking stick broke,” Tom snapped.

    “Good. Now you won’t complain about splinters,” Bob said sharply.

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    Submitted by Evan C., Morristown, Tenn.
    
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  • “I smell gas”
    Tom Swiftie: “I smell gas,” Tom fumed.

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    Submitted by Domonic F., Everett, Mass.
    
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  • “Time for a snack”
    Tom Swiftie: “Time for a snack,” Tom snickered.

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    Submitted by Daniel B., Champaign, Ill.
    
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  • “You’re not working…”
    Tom Swiftie: “You’re not working for my business anymore,” Tom fired.

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    Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish,Wash.
    
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  • “This must be an aerobics class”
    Tom Swiftie: “This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.

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    Submitted by Lexus D., Eugene, Ore.
    
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  • “She tore my valentine in half!”
    Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.

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    Submitted by Alexander J.Velazquez, Hamden, Conn.
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  • Too many quizzes.
    Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

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    Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.
    
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  • “I need to fix that drain!”
    Tom Swiftie: Tom piped up: “I need to fix that drain!”

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    Submitted by Thompson H., Stow, Mass.
    
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  • “Help me reel in this fish!”
    Tom Swiftie: “Help me reel in this fish!” Tom wailed.

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    Submitted by Sean K., Salem, N.H.
    
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  • “Wanna go bowling tonight?”
    Tom Swiftie: “Wanna go bowling tonight?” Tom asked strikingly.

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    Submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.
    
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  • “I love the Hokey Pokey!”
    Tom Swiftie: “I love the Hokey Pokey!” Tom put in.

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    Submitted by Daniel M., Newtown Square, Pa.
    
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  • “This is a good book.”
    Tom Swiftie: “This is a good book,” Tom said readily.

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    Submitted by David G., Arvada, Colo.
    
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  • “On guard!”
    Tom Swiftie: “On guard!” Tom said pointedly.

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    Submitted by Scott G., San Jacinto, Calif.
    
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  • “As soon as the rain stops, we’ll break camp”
    Tom Swiftie: “As soon as the rain stops, we’ll break camp,” Tom said intently.

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    Submitted by Thomas A. P., Roseville, Calif.
    
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  • “I love to try exotic spices”
    Tom Swiftie: “I love to try exotic spices,” Tom said gingerly.

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    Submitted by Stephen M., Ridgefield, Wash.
    
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  • “I’m tired of writing thank you cards”
    Tom Swiftie: “I’m tired of writing thank you cards,” Tom noted sincerely.

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    Submitted by Nick R., Lockport, Ill.
    
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  • “I like sports!”
    Tom Swiftie: “I like sports!” Tom said gamely.

     

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    Submitted by Katie K., Liberty Hill, Tex.
    
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  • “My willow is dead!”
    Tom Swiftie: “My willow is dead!” Tom said,weeping.

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    Submitted by Scott D., Eldersburg, Md.
    
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  • “I want a hot dog!”
    Tom Swiftie: “I want a hot dog!” Tom said frankly.

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    Submitted by George B., Valparaiso, Ind.
    
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  • “Stop eating like a pig!”
    Tom Swiftie: “Stop eating like a pig!” Tom snorted.

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    Submitted by John O., Westminster, S.C.
    
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  • “May I have a spaniel for my birthday?”
    Tom Swiftie: “May I have a spaniel for my birthday?” Tom asked doggedly.

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    Submitted by Ian M., Sioux Falls, S.D.
    
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  • “I don’t want to go fishing!”
    Tom Swiftie: “I don’t want to go fishing!” Tom wailed.

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    Submitted by Jarett S., Westminster, Calif.
    
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  • “May I say the prayer before dinner?”
    Tom Swiftie: “May I say the prayer before dinner?” Tom asked gracefully.

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    Submitted by Eric Z., Spokane,Wash.
    
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