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30 Funny St. Patrick’s Day Jokes and Comics

Even if you remember to wear green on March 17, you’ll still get a “pinch” of humor from these funny St. Patrick’s Day jokes submitted by Scout Life readers.

Do you know a funny St. Patrick’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

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Tom: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Tom: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day.

Joke submitted by Tommy F., Aberdeen, Md.
Comic by Daryll Collins


DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great St. Patrick’s Day jokes!
Download the joke book (PDF)
Folding instructions


Comic by Scott Nickel


Seth: What do you call a fake Irish stone?
Spencer: What?
Seth: A shamrock!

Joke submitted by Seth F., Frederick, Colo.


nickelcomic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day.
Mom: Oh, really?
David: No, O’Reilly!

Joke submitted by David K., Shelby Township, Mich.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Katelynn: What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
Molly: What?
Katelynn: Game clover!

Joke submitted by Katelynn E., Lexington, Ky.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Joe: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Bob: Tell me.
Joe: You might press your luck!

Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Sean: What happens if you fall in the Irish Sea on St. Patrick’s Day?
David: No idea.
Sean: You get wet!

Joke submitted by Sean D., Falls Church, Va.


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Comic by Scott Nickel


Jack: On what musical instrument did the show-off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?
Ally: I have no idea.
Jack: On his brag-pipes.

Joke submitted by Jacqueline S., Moline, Ill.


Danni: Knock. Knock.
Izzy: Who’s there?
Danni: Warren.
Izzy: Warren who?
Danni: Warren any green today?

Joke submitted by Danni L., Memphis, Tenn.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Keenan: What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?
Liam: What?
Keenan: “Wee-cyclers!”

Joke submitted by Jacqueline S., Moline, Ill.


Tim: How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
Rob: How?
Tim: He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Joke submitted by Tim S., Biloxi, Miss.


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Comic by Scott Nickel


Jon: How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?
Sami: Not sure.
Jon: When it’s a French fry.

Joke submitted by Jon J., Redland, Calif.


Ian: Where do leprechauns buy their groceries?
Colin: I don’t know.
Ian: Rainbow Foods!

Joke submitted by Ian C., Minneapolis, Minn.


Comic by Daryll Collins


Peyton: What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
Cody: I dunno.
Peyton: “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

Joke submitted by Andy K., Perkasie, Pa.


Jamie: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Ashley: Why?
Jamie: Airplanes weren’t invented yet.

Joke submitted by Jamie M., Plantation, Fla.


nickelcomic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Carrot: Knock, knock.
Potato: Who’s there?
Carrot: Irish stew.
Potato: Irish stew, who?
Carrot: Irish stew in the name of the law.

Joke submitted by J.S., Hayward, Calif.


Mike: What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is his favorite singer?
Misty: Tell me.
Mike: You too?

Joke submitted by Mike M., Omaha, Neb.


Comic by Daryll Collins


Evan: What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Steffan: What?
Evan: Paddy O’Furniture.

Joke submitted by Evan R., Wylie, Tex.


Will: What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?
Cody: No clue.
Will: Grape Britain!

Joke submitted by Will C., Laramie, Wyo.


patrick-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


Steph: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Jak: Why?
Steph: ‘Cause real rocks are too heavy!

Joke submitted by Steph O., El Paso, Tex.


Alexis: What do you call Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double?
Zack: What?
Alexis: The Sham-Rock!

Joke submitted by Alexis J., Margate, Fla.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Mika: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
Will: A pot of gold?
Mika: No, a Potty Gold!

Joke submitted by Mika C., Las Vegas, Nev.


Ella: What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland?
Bella: I don’t know.
Ella: “Everyone got seat belts on back there?”

Joke submitted by Ella C., Topeka, Kan.


DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great St. Patrick’s Day jokes!
Download the joke book (PDF)
Folding instructions


Do you know a funny St. Patrick’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

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