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20 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes

Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for her.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

 

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

Submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.


Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.


Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

Submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.


Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.


Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.

Submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.


Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”

Submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!

Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.

“How do you know?” the boy asks.

The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.


Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

Submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.


Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”

Submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.


Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.

Submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.


A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.


Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

Submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.


Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.


Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.

Submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.


Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.


Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.


Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

Submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.


42 Comments on 20 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes

  1. I used one of your jokes in a mother’s d card

  2. Good jokes

  3. understood every joke very funny LOL 🙂

  4. ‼️‼️‼️ // December 20, 2017 at 8:42 pm // Reply

    Some were funny but most weren’t

  5. ‼️‼️‼️ // December 20, 2017 at 8:41 pm // Reply

    None of my sisters laughed at them. But I thought some of them were funny 😆

  6. serious dude // May 4, 2017 at 3:49 am // Reply

    Loved every one, maybe because its stars wars day.

  7. some are funny but i couldnot understood some

  8. i love the forigen lanuage one LOL UU

  9. Aww

  10. so funny

  11. The meat pole // June 19, 2016 at 3:25 pm // Reply

    These are super funny especially the kangaroo one it mad me cry by laughing 1 hour later and I was still crying lol.

  12. devonj3608 // May 8, 2016 at 3:24 pm // Reply

    Funny jokes

  13. puppylove // May 4, 2016 at 10:34 pm // Reply

    These are funny!

  14. Thanks for making me smile. I needed a smile today.

  15. I like the snake joke

  16. Those are pretty good. LOVE them. And my mom.

  17. i agree some are funny

  18. Lol

  19. I like the first one

  20. I liked #5
    It was funny

  21. Only one of them actually made me smile.. O.O

  22. Cheesy

  23. Hahahahaha!

  24. 🙂 🙂

    yup that is great 🙂

  25. lol nice

  26. like it

  27. real cheesy! 🙂

  28. Its kinda funny

  29. Love money // July 11, 2015 at 11:52 pm // Reply

    I love my mom

  30. very funny jokes i love it

  31. OMG my mom was cracking up!Say,the first 1 didn’t make sense,PLZ remove that.

  32. love the jokes,very funny

  33. verry verry funny ha ha ha ha

  34. not much funny

  35. the jokes were pretty good!

  36. They were funny but some were not

  37. It is funny but short

  38. I need to do that

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