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20 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes

Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for her.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

 

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

Submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.


Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.


Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

Submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.


Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.


Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.

Submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.


Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”

Submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!

Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.

“How do you know?” the boy asks.

The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.


Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

Submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.


Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”

Submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.


Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.

Submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.


A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.


Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

Submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.


Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.


Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.

Submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.


Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.


Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.


Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

Submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.


55 Comments on 20 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes

  1. So funny can’t stop laughing

  2. Thanks for the Mother’s Day gawfaws.
    Happy Mother’s Day to you or yours.

  3. Really funny, lol

  4. tigerlyon // May 10, 2015 at 9:44 am // Reply

    They where funny, and I liked them

  5. Asdfghjkl // May 10, 2015 at 9:17 am // Reply

    lol

    Funny

  6. Beerad4321 // May 10, 2015 at 12:44 am // Reply

    Those jokes were hilarious

  7. LuckyBlock // May 10, 2015 at 12:02 am // Reply

    Cool Jokes!

  8. potato wedge // May 9, 2015 at 9:23 pm // Reply

    … yay.. haha… hilarious. ._.

  9. Pretty funny!!😂😂

  10. that is funny

  11. Patty ts buns // May 9, 2015 at 7:13 pm // Reply

    Good comedy

  12. They were okay😐

  13. the jokes are good

  14. Laughed out loud at some of the more “punny” Ones!

  15. Superb

  16. JojoCookies // May 8, 2015 at 7:20 pm // Reply

    LAWL I like the first one :- D

  17. star wars fan! :) // May 8, 2015 at 10:32 am // Reply

    these are AWESOME and hilarious!!!

  18. hi im doing this in class right now its 11:12 on may 7 2014

  19. hahahahaha

  20. natedog funsize // May 2, 2015 at 3:18 pm // Reply

    they where really funny

  21. my mom will love these 🙂

  22. Like . Can’t wait to share with my grandsons

  23. lol

  24. these are really funny.

  25. The one I was really laughing at was the one when the mom said to her son, ” I’m warning you. If you climb up on that tree and break your legs, don’t come running to me!” XD

  26. funny jokes

  27. i liked the jokes my favorite part was the pack of cookies and elephants but some of them did make me laugh a little

  28. I have to tell my some of these LOL

  29. brilliant jokes i like dad do you know the
    difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants
    NO
    then it’s a good thing mum does the food shopping

  30. I loved them

  31. lover of jokes // December 31, 2014 at 9:45 pm // Reply

    i love the one of the mother mouse telling why its important to learn other lauguages…..LOL

  32. I luv du jokes // December 23, 2014 at 7:55 pm // Reply

    My mom cracked up

  33. Loved them! perfect for a good cheery mood!

  34. I LOVE this jokes me and my mom loved them so……….…funny

  35. This stuff is really funny.

  36. So funny haha

  37. So funny haha

  38. 😂😂😂IM DYING 😂😂😂

  39. very funny

  40. My mom loved it!

  41. i enjoyed .jst cant wait 2 tell my mother .

  42. Froglovey // May 11, 2014 at 6:46 pm // Reply

    Awesome jokes! I used them for a show and they are a big hit! Thank You!

  43. SUperfunny

  44. So funny

  45. awsome

  46. Anonymous // May 10, 2014 at 8:44 pm // Reply

    how funny

  47. I love the great Mother’s Day jokes! I’m definitely going to put at least one of them in my card for my mom!

  48. Nick-Wick // May 10, 2014 at 7:00 am // Reply

    I loved the one about Johny’s mom being a good cook.

  49. bro awsome jokes man

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