Boys' Life magazine

Funny Fourth of July Jokes and Comics

Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Fourth of July joke? Click here to send it to us.

Comic by Daryll Collins


Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.


George: Knock, knock.
Kent: Who’s there?
George: Sadie.
Kent: Sadie, who?
George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July!

Joke by Kent A., Lakewood, Ohio


Alex: Where did our first president keep his mice?
Will: Tell me.
Alex: Mount Vermin!

Joke by Joshua R., Birmingham, Ala.


Comic by Scott A. Masear


Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.


Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Joke by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.


A book never written: “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.

Joke by Jason F., Hillsborough, N.J.


Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.


A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Joke by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.


Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.


Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A book never written: “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard.

Joke by Sam B., Hingham, Mass.


Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Joke by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.


Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.


Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Joke by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Joke by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.


A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.


Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Joke by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.


Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Joke by John D., Richmond, Va.


Fred: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
Joe: This one is a toughy.
Fred: Aretha Franklin!

Joke by Kevin V., Monrovia, Calif.


A book never written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.

Joke by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.