10 Funny Pirate Jokes

Your mateys will yo ho ho with these funny pirate jokes sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

Pat: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
Jerry: I don’t know. What?
Pat: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

Submitted by Patricia J., Warrens, Wis.

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.”

The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …”

“Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”

Submitted by Gregory W., Newark, N.Y.

Tyler: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
Ryan: A buccaneer.

Submitted by Tyler S., Pleasant Grove, Utah

A book never written: “Pirate Gold” by Barry D. Treasure.

Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Jim: Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Bo: I haven’t a clue.
Jim: Because they spend years at “C”!

Submitted by Sailesh K., Bernardsville, N.J.

A book never written: Pirate Treasure” by Barry Moore.

Submitted by Caleb C., Hermitage, Tenn.

Max: What did one pirate say to the other?
Ben: What?
Max: “I sea you!”

Submitted by Maximillian M., Amery, Wis.

Robert: Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
Patrick: Beats me.
Robert: Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Submitted by Patrick D., San Francisco, Calif.

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

Submitted by Kyoji M., Cheswick, Pa.