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62 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.

Laugh at 3,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.boyslife.org!


halloween-1

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Comic by Scott Nickel


Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


halloween-1

Comic by Daryll Collins


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas


Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.


comic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Comic by Thomastoons


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.


halloween-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


comic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.


halloween-3

Comic by Scott Nickel


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


comic-3

Comic by Thomastoons


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.


halloween-4

Comic by Jon Carter


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


halloween-5

Comic by Scott Nickel


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


halloween-6

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


halloween-7

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

Laugh at 3,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.boyslife.org!

55 Comments on 62 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

  1. I think these are hilarious

  2. i didnt find any of them funny!!1

  3. These jokes are absolutely rubbish there for 1 year olds even if they could red them!!!

  4. amazing i will use some of the jokes to night when i go trickof treating

  5. To Bob – theyre kid jokes. Get a life.

  6. these are not funny

  7. i think there all very funny and i especially like the one by Billy J., Hershey, Pa , about one women rolled her eyes and a guy and his friend said “be a gentilman and roll them back!” hahahaha i might use that one because it is halloween today !!!!! whoooooooooop
    i`m sooooo excited xx

  8. These are hilarious!!! Hahahaha ….. pumpkin<<<<<<<<

  9. GREAT JOKES for my Daughter’s 2nd grade class!!!!

  10. i think some of them are very stupid………n boring but some are good

  11. not that funny but alright

  12. these jokes are all really bad get a life

  13. hi im new this is funny

  14. sorry but these are NOT really funny at all accept 1
    which ghost is the best dancer
    i dont know
    the boogie man.

  15. Sweetblossem // October 31, 2012 at 2:37 am // Reply

    These jokes are suitable for mixed company of all ages. I am sharing them this Halloween. Thanks

  16. yes this a very good website

  17. These r lame.

  18. Great jokes 🙂

  19. Dwarf of Casmodan // October 30, 2012 at 8:53 pm // Reply

    Hay i know this does not relate to Halloween but wnat to hear a corny joke
    what does the farmer say? cow say moo get the joke is corny cause hi is a farmer

  20. what these halloween mean it halloween

  21. omg these were cute for a 3 year old

  22. Awsome jokes make some more please

  23. Just awsome jokes make som more there realy funny

  24. a will use some of these jokes to take into school! to share on Halloween!!! 🙂

  25. Nice job on the joke

  26. Why dont chickis cross the rode
    There chicks

  27. I am not trying to be a hater but I don,t think there funny at all that is just my idea

    • crazy zombie // October 31, 2012 at 6:52 am // Reply

      in my opinion and im not trying to be a hater but these jokes arnt very funny this my opinion only so u might think something else 🙂

  28. epical!

  29. awsome jokes

  30. I will use these for halloween because some are funny and some are great!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. happy hall o ween // October 30, 2012 at 3:00 am // Reply

    some are verry funny and some are just funny

  32. Some r cool some r boring. 🙂 😦

  33. I’m sharing these jokes. Loved them. I’m sure I’ll gets lots of groans.

  34. lots of laughts // October 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm // Reply

    Sum were real cute and funny!! More please!

  35. funny

  36. y now they are not funny AT ALL!!!

  37. awsom jokes keep em comin

  38. Love jokes to write for the kids lunch notes

  39. There alright, but my favourite one is this one ‘Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
    Nolan: I don’t know.
    Brandon: The Boogie Man!’ soo funny, my stomach hurt so much for laughingg:))

  40. Error:No name // October 28, 2012 at 6:38 pm // Reply

    What do zombies put on their mashed patotoes? GRAVEy.
    oh i love that one 🙂

  41. monkey lee 11 // October 28, 2012 at 6:23 pm // Reply

    heres one
    knock knock
    whos there?
    norma lee
    norma lee who?
    norma lee i dont knock at your door

  42. The lamest jokes in the world. How dumb.

  43. funny very funny

  44. i love these

  45. Enjoyed reading these to my kids!

  46. PopcornQueen // October 26, 2012 at 7:56 am // Reply

    My son loves these jokes. The first thing he runs to read when he receives his Boy’s Life Magazine are the jokes. Keep them all coming…Awesome job boys!!!

  47. Cook me a hamburger Count Spatula!

  48. ha ha ha ha! nice jokes

  49. not funny AT ALL!

  50. awesome!

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