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70 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.

Laugh at 4,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.boyslife.org!


halloween-1

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Jenna: What did the vampire say to the ghost at the Halloween party?
Brenna: What?
Jenna: “Come on! Why don’t you live a little?”
Joke submitted by Jenna C., Columbia, Mo.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Comic by Scott Nickel


Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


halloween-1

Comic by Daryll Collins


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas


Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.


comic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Comic by Thomastoons


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.


halloween-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


comic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.


halloween-3

Comic by Scott Nickel


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


comic-3

Comic by Thomastoons


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.


halloween-4

Comic by Jon Carter


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


halloween-5

Comic by Scott Nickel


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Steve: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter?
Paul: What?
Steve: Pumpkin-pi!
Joke submitted by Steve H., Sagamore Hills, Ohio


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


halloween-6

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


halloween-7

Comic by Scott Nickel


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Todd: What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
Leanne: What?
Todd: The xylabone.
Joke submitted by Todd F., Indianapolis, Ind.


Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Pam: What kind of phone do witches use?
Sam: What kind?
Pam: A touch-toad phone.
Joke submitted by Pam A., Wasilla, Alaska


Cresencio: What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Chris: What?
Cresencio: Spelling.
Joke submitted by Cresencio A., Norwalk, Calif.


Jayden: What is a panda’s favorite Halloween food?
Cayden: What?
Jayden: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Jayden V., Westerly, Rhode Island


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

Laugh at 4,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.boyslife.org!

53 Comments on 70 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

  1. Boo for you. BOO!

  2. I love them.I told some to my family and they loved them.they all laughed

  3. haha – retreat. get it

  4. I’m gonna use some for my spooky birthday party!

  5. Doctorbanana // October 9, 2014 at 5:49 am // Reply

    These are corny. But the good kind of candy corn

  6. I like these jokes.

  7. These are pretty funny!

  8. OK, None of them actually made me laugh, but they are SUPER FUNNY

  9. Hahahaha Those are funny

  10. those are so funny

  11. These jokes made me crack up with the count spatula one there really funny

  12. smelly bum // March 18, 2014 at 3:31 am // Reply

    Awsome jokes they even made me scream!!!

  13. I’m sorry to ask this but ” can I borrow your face for Halloween

  14. too good..i like them!!!

  15. Haha so funny jokes but their funny :))))

  16. SUPER FUNNY JOKES PEEPS

  17. ausome those jokes are crasy i like the first one

  18. They are OK. I understood 96.5 percent of the jokes.

  19. Thank you so much! I used some on Facebook and people enjoyed them!

  20. some are good but some are not that good

  21. Most of the jokes are LAME but some of them are AWESOME

  22. I love all of those funny jokes please post more of them

  23. I think that they are really good

  24. Halloweenlover609 // October 31, 2013 at 11:26 am // Reply

    These jokes are good my fave was the vampires fave fruit necktarine

  25. Happy Halloween every body unless you are a ghost

  26. cool

  27. Like them a lot. Haven’t heard some of them before

  28. They were Corny but still funny

  29. Every one who posted these is awesome

  30. Some are funny

  31. Ghoulish Commish // October 30, 2013 at 7:27 pm // Reply

    Very funny. Happy Halloween !!!

  32. hahaha…lol

  33. mynameiswhat? // October 30, 2013 at 4:37 pm // Reply

    Some are stupid but some are actually funny!! If u thought they weren’t funny u obviously didnt get it

  34. Very funny !

  35. These jokes were pretty good! I like them!!!

  36. katiewatie10 // October 30, 2013 at 2:42 pm // Reply

    not too funny but they will do i guess!

  37. Jollytrumbone // October 30, 2013 at 1:57 pm // Reply

    I liked the : what do you call a vampie who lives in the kitchen

    Count spatula !!

  38. There awsome

  39. funny

  40. I like the big one next to the photo. 🙂

  41. Not so funny

  42. so not funny.

  43. Kinda funny

  44. cool

  45. I really liked those jokes.When me and my sister did them we were laughing a lot. All of these jokes were really,really funny.We loved them.

  46. I love those jokes

  47. purlewolfblood // October 26, 2013 at 2:15 am // Reply

    Good joke im using some fir halloween

  48. they are okay

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