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20 funny jokes for Father’s Day



Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

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Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.


Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio


“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.


A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.


Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio


Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

– Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.


A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.


Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.


Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa


Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.


Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.


Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.


Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.


Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.


Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

– Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.


Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

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Comments about “20 funny jokes for Father’s Day”

  1. jin texas says:

    They are good,had my dad laughing his bowels out

  2. Anonymous says:

    like the half sisters and half brothers….wha ha hahaha he is really a magician

  3. Lemme take a #selfie says:

    The hospital one with the guy who works for 7 Up is great. ;)

  4. Lemme take a #selfie says:

    The message was so funny (I meant the $ and NO message, BTW) :)

  5. Lemme take a #selfie says:

    The last one is hilarious! :D

  6. troton says:

    i didnt think that they were all that funny

  7. tweety says:

    i like the jokes

  8. akapulka says:

    awesome + funny = going to tell my dad

  9. Homies 007 says:

    awesome. last one was best

  10. sassyboy says:

    I found them creative and sort of funny, but I really liked the last one it was very funny!
    I hope you write some more jokes!

  11. Sparky777 says:

    I’m totally going to show those to my dad! This is going to be a great Father’s Day :)

  12. Lulu says:

    Just loved your Dear Dad letter!!! It certainly hit home base :) I laughed so hard!!!! It was great :D

  13. girl says:

    I’m excited to tell my dad these jokes

  14. S says:

    I love the science one and the Manny and Theo one. My dad might like it too!

  15. mrs styles says:

    love them soo much, my dad couldn’t stop laughing, he read them over and over again.

  16. jimmy says:

    those were the funniest 20
    jokes my dad ever heard

  17. Zackattack says:

    Love the jokes

  18. Shotgun Scout says:

    Not too funny… sorta creative thoughts.

  19. ROYAL says:

    LOL i told my dad these and loved them!

  20. Nick-Wick says:

    Good jokes!!!

  21. jimmy says:

    those were the funnyiest jokes my dad laughed so hard he about pee-peed
    inhis pants

  22. Azwaw says:

    Awesome! :-)

  23. stenpha says:

    super which made my father laugh somuch

  24. Lesley says:

    Awesome! Using last one for my dad’s birthday!

  25. Nina says:

    That’s so funny dad:do u like 4vgradw son:no it’s not that’s much fund
    Dad:that’s to bad it was the best 3 years of my life

  26. thing says:

    Hilarious😃:D

  27. Super says:

    Funny made my dad laugh

  28. Anonymous says:

    I used one of them for fathers day

  29. Alisa says:

    I. Showed. My. Dad. Them. And. He. Laugh. So. Hard. The. First. One he. Almost. Peed his. Pants

  30. prettything says:

    most were really funny

  31. pari says:

    hmmmmmm how funny

  32. sam says:

    ha ha ha very funny , isnt’t it

  33. runrunrun:) says:

    fathers day today and got some inspiration !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. poopoo says:

    nice jokes

  35. Hiitsanna says:

    Haha

  36. riddhi says:

    not so funny

  37. Diva says:

    My dads injured but he’s ok so plz pray for him he was in the military

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