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20 Funny Jokes for Father’s Day

Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

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Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.


Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio


“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.


A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.


Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio


Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

— Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.


A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.


Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.


Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa


Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.


Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.


Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.


Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.


Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.


Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

— Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.


Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

49 Comments on 20 Funny Jokes for Father’s Day

  1. I lke it

  2. I liked the bug in the soup one 😹😹😹😹😹😹 it was so funny I’m gonna try it with my dad lol

  3. Slayer pro // June 22, 2016 at 4:47 pm // Reply

    I love the last one totally going to use it to get money

  4. I really enjoyed, and had a good laugh, especially the MMM Company. I work for AAA CO.

  5. I liked the last one and the one about the four fathers in the hospital

  6. These are $u per cool I done the bug in the soup one it works so well he prankes me back

  7. I loved the last one.😂😂😂

  8. lego maniac // June 16, 2016 at 9:52 am // Reply

    the la$t one i$ the funnie$t.

  9. Terminator // June 15, 2016 at 4:35 pm // Reply

    the last one was the funniest

  10. Good. Stuff haha keep them coming

  11. White1vans // June 8, 2016 at 6:58 pm // Reply

    They are cheesy

  12. The Ministrator // June 5, 2016 at 3:46 pm // Reply

    It i$ $imply $uper!

  13. I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR LAUGHING!!!!!!

  14. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. JJSwatt15 // May 24, 2016 at 5:29 pm // Reply

    The last one I thought was the funniest

  16. Lovely post. Thanks a lot for sharing it

  17. Dingo erythropoietin // November 14, 2015 at 11:43 am // Reply

    I liked four I told my dad an he ❤️ It 😀

  18. AMAZING

  19. I love number four and six they are really funny my dad is going to love them to hopefully my dad doesn’t use or see them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Loved the last one, defiantly NOT showing my dad these jokes because then he’ll use them! 😀

  21. I love them

  22. There not that good

  23. ye mum is ye mum // June 27, 2015 at 10:27 am // Reply

    i am ye mum

  24. I love full house

  25. Luv em

  26. They are all good

  27. Sa-na-ta-a-na (peanut) // June 22, 2015 at 8:08 am // Reply

    Last one was the best 😀

  28. rocker girl // June 21, 2015 at 4:07 pm // Reply

    lol love them all

  29. LoL I loved them

  30. Ok…

  31. Funny

  32. Sportsmaster // June 21, 2015 at 8:24 am // Reply

    18 and 20 are totally funny.

  33. swagchicken // June 21, 2015 at 7:20 am // Reply

    I think your jokes were very funny even though some of them didn’t make sense.

  34. lol

  35. knock knock // June 21, 2015 at 3:22 am // Reply

    cOoL I am using them today!

  36. nice. 😀

  37. the last one is awesome

  38. hockeyfashionista04 // June 18, 2015 at 9:02 am // Reply

    they were all LOL

  39. happy scout // June 17, 2015 at 4:40 pm // Reply

    LOL

  40. Really Cool

  41. I think they were hilarious

  42. awesome girl 1223 // June 13, 2015 at 9:03 pm // Reply

    They had some good jokes that you could use

  43. ElephantLover // June 12, 2015 at 11:29 am // Reply

    All funny!

  44. number 4,15, and 16 are my favorite

  45. I really like the last one

  46. mariokartfan101 // June 11, 2015 at 7:42 am // Reply

    LOL

  47. finnny winny // June 9, 2015 at 2:36 pm // Reply

    cOoL sO I mIgHT uSe tHeM

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