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20 funny jokes for Father’s Day

Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Here are 20 great jokes about dads sent in by Boys’ Life readers.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

dadjokes-550

Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

Submitted by Mike I., Midland, Mich.


Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Submitted by Tyler H., Blacklick, Ohio


“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Submitted by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.


A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

Submitted by Gholson D. G., Gaithersburg, Md.


Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Submitted by Michael H., Canton, Ohio


Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

– Submitted by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.


Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

Submitted by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.


A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

Submitted by Aaron and Andrew M., Redondo Beach, Calif.


Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

Submitted by Robby S., Putnam Valley, N.Y.


Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!

Submitted by Philip K., Marshalltown, Iowa


Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.

Submitted by David D., Guyton, Ga.


Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
Son: It isn’t much fun.
Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!

Submitted by Luke A., Tucson, Ariz.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Submitted by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.


Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Submitted by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.


Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
Jan: Was he mad?
Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Submitted by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.


Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
Theo: I love it!
Manny: Why?
Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Submitted by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.


Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

– Submitted by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.


Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

Submitted by Jacob P., Orem, Utah

177 Comments on 20 funny jokes for Father’s Day

  1. Yada Yada Yada

  2. Bad

  3. qqwweerrttyyuuiiioo // December 26, 2014 at 4:14 pm // Reply

    boring!

  4. qqwweerrttyyuuiiioo // December 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm // Reply

    these jokes work!

  5. Nice jokes very funny 😄😂

  6. Yea buddy

  7. Love these jokes they are hilarious

  8. there where so funny

  9. soo funny

  10. They are good,had my dad laughing his bowels out

  11. like the half sisters and half brothers….wha ha hahaha he is really a magician

  12. Lemme take a #selfie // June 25, 2014 at 11:23 am // Reply

    The hospital one with the guy who works for 7 Up is great. ;)

  13. Lemme take a #selfie // June 25, 2014 at 11:19 am // Reply

    The message was so funny (I meant the $ and NO message, BTW) :)

  14. Lemme take a #selfie // June 25, 2014 at 11:16 am // Reply

    The last one is hilarious! :D

  15. i didnt think that they were all that funny

  16. i like the jokes

  17. awesome + funny = going to tell my dad

  18. Homies 007 // June 16, 2014 at 6:58 am // Reply

    awesome. last one was best

  19. I found them creative and sort of funny, but I really liked the last one it was very funny!
    I hope you write some more jokes!

  20. I’m totally going to show those to my dad! This is going to be a great Father’s Day :)

  21. Just loved your Dear Dad letter!!! It certainly hit home base :) I laughed so hard!!!! It was great :D

  22. I’m excited to tell my dad these jokes

  23. I love the science one and the Manny and Theo one. My dad might like it too!

  24. mrs styles // June 11, 2014 at 11:14 am // Reply

    love them soo much, my dad couldn’t stop laughing, he read them over and over again.

  25. those were the funniest 20
    jokes my dad ever heard

  26. Zackattack // June 8, 2014 at 3:15 pm // Reply

    Love the jokes

  27. Shotgun Scout // June 8, 2014 at 12:20 pm // Reply

    Not too funny… sorta creative thoughts.

  28. LOL i told my dad these and loved them!

  29. Nick-Wick // June 1, 2014 at 4:02 pm // Reply

    Good jokes!!!

  30. those were the funnyiest jokes my dad laughed so hard he about pee-peed
    inhis pants

  31. Awesome! :-)

  32. super which made my father laugh somuch

  33. Awesome! Using last one for my dad’s birthday!

  34. That’s so funny dad:do u like 4vgradw son:no it’s not that’s much fund
    Dad:that’s to bad it was the best 3 years of my life

  35. Hilarious😃:D

  36. Funny made my dad laugh

  37. I used one of them for fathers day

  38. I. Showed. My. Dad. Them. And. He. Laugh. So. Hard. The. First. One he. Almost. Peed his. Pants

  39. most were really funny

  40. hmmmmmm how funny

  41. ha ha ha very funny , isnt’t it

  42. fathers day today and got some inspiration !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. nice jokes

  44. Haha

  45. not so funny

  46. My dads injured but he’s ok so plz pray for him he was in the military

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