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20 funny Mother’s Day jokes

Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for her.

Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

 

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

Submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.


Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

Submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.


Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

Submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.


Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!

Submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.


Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.


Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.


Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.

Submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.


Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”

Submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!

Submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.

“How do you know?” the boy asks.

The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

Submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.


Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!

Submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.


Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”

Submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.


Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.

Submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.


A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

Submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.


Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

Submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.


Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

Submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.


Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.

Submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.


Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.

Submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.


Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

Submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.


Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

Submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.


92 Comments on 20 funny Mother’s Day jokes

  1. The one I was really laughing at was the one when the mom said to her son, ” I’m warning you. If you climb up on that tree and break your legs, don’t come running to me!” XD

  2. funny jokes

  3. i liked the jokes my favorite part was the pack of cookies and elephants but some of them did make me laugh a little

  4. I have to tell my some of these LOL

  5. brilliant jokes i like dad do you know the
    difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants
    NO
    then it’s a good thing mum does the food shopping

  6. I loved them

  7. lover of jokes // December 31, 2014 at 9:45 pm // Reply

    i love the one of the mother mouse telling why its important to learn other lauguages…..LOL

  8. I luv du jokes // December 23, 2014 at 7:55 pm // Reply

    My mom cracked up

  9. Loved them! perfect for a good cheery mood!

  10. I LOVE this jokes me and my mom loved them so……….…funny

  11. This stuff is really funny.

  12. So funny haha

  13. So funny haha

  14. 😂😂😂IM DYING 😂😂😂

  15. very funny

  16. My mom loved it!

  17. i enjoyed .jst cant wait 2 tell my mother .

  18. Froglovey // May 11, 2014 at 6:46 pm // Reply

    Awesome jokes! I used them for a show and they are a big hit! Thank You!

  19. SUperfunny

  20. So funny

  21. awsome

  22. Anonymous // May 10, 2014 at 8:44 pm // Reply

    how funny

  23. I love the great Mother’s Day jokes! I’m definitely going to put at least one of them in my card for my mom!

  24. Nick-Wick // May 10, 2014 at 7:00 am // Reply

    I loved the one about Johny’s mom being a good cook.

  25. bro awsome jokes man

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