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30 funny back-to-school jokes

Summer vacation is over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny jokes about school sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

school-feature

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.


A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.


David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.


Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.


Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.


A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.


A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.


Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.


Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.


Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.


Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.


Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii


What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

Submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.


Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.


Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.


Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.


Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.


Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.


Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.


Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.


Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.


Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.


Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.


Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.


Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.


John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.


Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.


23 Comments on 30 funny back-to-school jokes

  1. weelll…..over all it is kinda good
    lol
    cant stop laughing
    (for some)
    lol
    lol

  2. The joker // May 19, 2016 at 5:38 pm // Reply

    Most of them are funny 😆😆

  3. lol today i was crying but when i read jokes i really laughed to much😹😝😝

  4. Great laughed my heart out

  5. Wow i like it good job

  6. lol love these jokes

  7. really boring could hve done a lot better

  8. So boring

  9. OMG these are good jokes

  10. Laughs

  11. young mavis // March 15, 2016 at 3:23 pm // Reply

    ha!ha!ha some funny some boring

  12. these are halarius😄

  13. SpoonToons // March 2, 2016 at 12:09 pm // Reply

    These jokes are super duper funny

  14. Beauty queen 228 // February 27, 2016 at 1:18 pm // Reply

    Me my bro were laughing to death

  15. the jokes are boring

  16. This is amazing. The jokes are so descriptive and funny that I think I’m going to tell my teacher these. And stump him on a few jokes.

  17. loved it so much wish I could tell them to my teacher. these are great. Who ever came up with them is a genius. Loved it! I want more. I just really bad at coming up with jokes.

  18. so so funny.

  19. These are great jokes! I love them.

  20. Totally funny*

  21. Chrysyanthemum. // January 6, 2016 at 6:40 am // Reply

    LoL , so funny .

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