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30 funny back-to-school jokes

Summer vacation will soon be over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny jokes about school sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.


A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.


David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.


Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.


Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.


A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.


A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.


Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.


Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.


Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.


Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.


Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii


What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

Submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.


Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.


Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.


Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.


Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.


Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.


Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.


Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.


Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.


Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.


Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.


Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.


Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.


John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.


Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.


147 Comments on 30 funny back-to-school jokes

  1. some jokes are made out of a corn…

  2. Percy Jackson // August 16, 2013 at 2:14 am // Reply

    They aren’t very funny.

  3. I liked it 96.33334% (the third joke I hate, because gym is horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!).

  4. These jokes are supper funny

  5. Very funny jokes. School is good but not for people like me. Keep sending those jokes! Love them

  6. 70% funny

  7. Hee hee

  8. I love jokes yrr

  9. Gravitation // July 14, 2013 at 11:12 am // Reply

    Very good!

  10. Good

  11. good jokes

  12. THE JOKES ARE SO FUNNY!:]*

  13. the jokes are not funny sorry I’m nice but its true

  14. Vinoddonna // June 10, 2013 at 6:54 am // Reply

    60% funny 😜😜

  15. good jokes

  16. not so funny

  17. Rude dude8-) // May 8, 2013 at 7:24 am // Reply

    Not as funny as guys are saying above

  18. Rude dude8-) // May 8, 2013 at 7:22 am // Reply

    :8-)I’ve liked thm a lot they made me laugh:D

  19. Some not so good but…….most were funny :D <3

  20. These are very amazing

  21. :)

  22. Man……itz awesum…..

  23. very funny

  24. so funny

  25. vry funny..!

  26. im a ventriloquist and i used some of them for my dummie keep writing more

  27. some were cool, others were boring……… thnks, later dudes, am out

  28. first class keep it up

  29. Boring!

  30. Your Jokes. Are awesome.

  31. They really good jokes hey

  32. super funny!!!!! i liked them so much… <3 <3

  33. THATS NICE

  34. awesome realy awesome

  35. They were funny lol

  36. :) :) great so funny

  37. haha! I like the first one!

  38. These jokes are so funny. i love them lol =)

  39. Hilarious jokes hahahahaha

  40. homeschooler // August 29, 2012 at 5:02 pm // Reply

    they should post all these in next month’s magazine!

  41. They should post some of this stuff in the magizine!

  42. I love the jokes that’s being posted

  43. Soooo funny

  44. This is so funny. :-)

  45. First Class Scout // August 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm // Reply

    Hilarious!!!

  46. Stand up Comedian // August 19, 2012 at 10:49 am // Reply

    They were pretty good I think that because i’m used to humor all the time.

  47. Super funny!!!

  48. i love them they made me laugh so hard i could not breath

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