30 funny back-to-school jokes

Summer vacation will soon be over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny jokes about school sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.

A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.

David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.

Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.

A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.

A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.

Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.

Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii

What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

Submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.

Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.

Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.

Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.

Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.

Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.

John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.

Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.


Comments about “30 funny back-to-school jokes”

  1. sylvia says:

    some jokes are made out of a corn…

  2. Percy Jackson says:

    They aren’t very funny.

  3. Wise Guy says:

    I liked it 96.33334% (the third joke I hate, because gym is horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!).

  4. love says:

    These jokes are supper funny

  5. Guava says:

    Very funny jokes. School is good but not for people like me. Keep sending those jokes! Love them

  6. blah blah says:

    70% funny

  7. Bro253 says:

    Hee hee

  8. ash says:

    I love jokes yrr

  9. Gravitation says:

    Very good!

  10. Anonymous says:

    good jokes

  11. jack says:


  12. karball says:

    the jokes are not funny sorry I’m nice but its true

  13. Vinoddonna says:

    60% funny 😜😜

  14. oju says:

    good jokes

  15. funnyguy says:

    not so funny

  16. Rude dude8-) says:

    Not as funny as guys are saying above

  17. Rude dude8-) says:

    :8-)I’ve liked thm a lot they made me laugh:D

  18. Melon says:

    Some not so good but…….most were funny :D <3

  19. Poop123 says:

    These are very amazing

  20. Rio says:

    Man……itz awesum…..

  21. vin says:

    very funny

  22. mandy says:

    so funny

  23. candy says:

    vry funny..!

  24. joy says:

    im a ventriloquist and i used some of them for my dummie keep writing more

  25. mims says:

    some were cool, others were boring……… thnks, later dudes, am out

  26. smilee says:

    first class keep it up

  27. Fuu says:

    Your Jokes. Are awesome.

  28. sarcasm says:

    They really good jokes hey

  29. Sarah says:

    super funny!!!!! i liked them so much… <3 <3

  30. ABRISH says:


  31. lany says:

    awesome realy awesome

  32. joker says:

    They were funny lol

  33. redeyetiger says:

    :) :) great so funny

  34. timten says:

    haha! I like the first one!

  35. Bojiboy96 says:

    These jokes are so funny. i love them lol =)

  36. J1a2c3k4 says:

    Hilarious jokes hahahahaha

  37. homeschooler says:

    they should post all these in next month’s magazine!

  38. says says:

    They should post some of this stuff in the magizine!

  39. Anonymous says:

    I love the jokes that’s being posted

  40. hi says:

    Soooo funny

  41. Chris 101 says:

    This is so funny. :-)

  42. First Class Scout says:


  43. Stand up Comedian says:

    They were pretty good I think that because i’m used to humor all the time.

  44. pokenerd says:

    Super funny!!!

  45. katey says:

    i love them they made me laugh so hard i could not breath

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