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30 funny back-to-school jokes

Summer vacation will soon be over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny jokes about school sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.


A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.


David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.


Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.


Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.


A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.


A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.


Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.


Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.


Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.


Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.


Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii


What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

Submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.


Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.


Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.


Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.


Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.


Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.


Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.


Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.


Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.


Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.


Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.


Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.


Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.


John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.


Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.


147 Comments on 30 funny back-to-school jokes

  1. WonkierOsprey4 // August 21, 2014 at 1:23 pm // Reply

    These are good! I’ll be sure to use them this coming school year!

  2. Love this! had a good laugh over this

  3. I am going to make my dad do the half one

  4. BORING

  5. funny very funny

  6. Those are funny jokes

  7. Hayu kun rai // August 10, 2014 at 9:05 pm // Reply

    Its very fuuny :) hahahahahahaha

  8. Loved these jokes! XD

  9. Really funny it is…….i like it

  10. jhon thomas // June 7, 2014 at 5:17 am // Reply

    i like it so funny jokes

  11. cool jokes :$ ^^

  12. ChumbaWumba // May 7, 2014 at 8:24 pm // Reply

    Going to use some of these jokes for my son’s talent show!!!

  13. really cool bro

  14. Superb jokes I have have shared it to my friends and had a wonderful time! Thnks!

  15. cool im gonna use 1

  16. Great list! Made me smile before school!

  17. very funny

  18. some of These are very nice

  19. NinjaMonkey // March 24, 2014 at 6:57 am // Reply

    I don’t intend on being mean, but these jokes are merely as funny as what gets said at my school… Sorry :/

  20. Your real name // March 20, 2014 at 3:14 am // Reply

    Get it it said do nth use your real name
    OHHHHHHHHH

  21. This was very funny, I was laughing at the Direct object joke. She was Pretty Ha ha ha.

  22. i like some jokes

  23. Funny

  24. Liv and Maddie // February 26, 2014 at 1:57 pm // Reply

    Cool Jokes

  25. nice jokes

  26. awesome girl // February 12, 2014 at 8:30 pm // Reply

    I LOVE THE JOKE ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE OF THE TEACHER AND A TRAIN

  27. honey booboo // February 9, 2014 at 8:46 pm // Reply

    love the “Teacher,would you punish me for something i didnt do?”

  28. Awesome soooo funny

  29. Good jokes

  30. made my day

  31. I like more the one that says what’s the different from a teacher
    or a train

  32. I realy like those jokes

  33. took me back 2 the school

  34. its really joke ha ha ha

  35. GoooooooD jocks…..

  36. REALLY!!!!!!!!

  37. Really these jokes are cornie

  38. Bst jokes i hd ever heard really gud!!!

  39. Wow epic…….

  40. This jokes are extriemly funny and I think other jokes won’t be as funny as this

  41. Some of these are pretty good.

  42. sweety smily // September 2, 2013 at 9:07 am // Reply

    really sweet as a honey.

  43. nice jokes

  44. some are good jokes some arnt

  45. Good jokes

  46. why did bob go to bob town
    because hes awesome!!

  47. Some of these are very punny!

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