20 Funny Dentist Jokes

Open wide! You’ll laugh out loud with these 20 pain-free (and funny!) dentist jokes submitted by Scout Life readers.

Do you know a funny dentist joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist?
Scott: Beats me.
Josh: To get his teeth crowned!

Submitted by Matthew F., Havre de Grace, Md.

Luke: What is a dentist’s favorite movie?
Joey: Beats me.
Luke: “Plaque to the Future”!

Submitted by Luke H., Cornwall-on-Hudson, N.Y.

Luke: What did the judge say to the dentist?
Joe: I don’t know. What?
Luke: “Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Bob: What do you call a dentist’s advice?
Bobby: Not sure.
Bob: His fl ossophy.

Submitted by Joshua H., Plainview, Texas

Jack: What does a marching band member use to brush his teeth?
Chase: I have no idea.
Jack: A tuba toothpaste!

Submitted by Jack R., Edina, Minn.

A book never written: “Dental Examination” by Hope N. Wide.

Submitted by John T., Lusby, Md.

Alex: What’s a dentist’s favorite time of day?
Randy: Tell me.
Alex: Tooth-hurty!

Submitted by Alexander D., Minster, Ohio

Phil: How are false teeth like stars?
Hank: Tell me.
Phil: Both only come out at night!

Submitted by Phil N., Bedford, N.H.

Tom Swiftie: “Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Submitted by LJ R., Coppell, Tex.

Wes: Knock, knock.
James: Who’s there?
Wes: Dishes.
James: Dishes, who?
Wes: Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!

Submitted by Weston L., Hartsville, S.C.

A book never written: “Life as a Dentist” by Flo Ride.

Submitted by Andrew M., Fort Smith, Ark.

A book never written: “Pain Management” by Nova Cane.

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.

Jacob: What will the dentist give you for $1?
Will: I haven’t a clue.
Jacob: Buck teeth!

Submitted by Jacob P., Fenton, Mo.

Dentist: What kind of filling do you want in your tooth?
Boy: Chocolate!

Submitted by Gabriel A. C., Ypsilanti, Mich.

Bob: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
Fred: I don’t know. How?
Bob: His drill slipped.

Submitted by Trenton S., Salt Lake City, Utah

Dentist: Hmm, it would appear that you have nice, even teeth.
Hockey Player: Thanks, doc.
Dentist: Unfortunately, it’s because teeth Nos. 1, 3 and 5 are missing.

Submitted by Lucas J., Trion, Ga.

Aneesh: What does a dentist call an astronaut’s cavity?
Aditya: I don’t know.
Aneesh: “A black hole.”

Submitted by Aneesh S., Flushing, N.Y.

Jay: What did the dentist say to the judge in court?
Clay: What?
Jay: “You can’t handle the tooth!”

Submitted by James L., Pittsford, N.Y.

Pee Wee: How do you fix a broken tooth?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: With tooth paste!

Submitted by Katie M., Mount Carmel, Ill.

Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.

Submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.

A book never written: “I Have a Toothache” by Phil McCavity.

Submitted by Ben M., Chariton, Iowa

Brandon: Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?
Kaleb: Tell me.
Brandon: He needed a filling!

Submitted by Brandon R., Morgantown, N.C.

Do you know a funny dentist joke? Click here to send your joke to us.