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20 Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes and Comics

Everyone loves a joke. Even if you’re not into love, romance and all that kissy stuff, you’ll still love to laugh at these funny Valentine’s Day jokes and comics.

Do you know a funny Valentine’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

valentine-feature


A book never written: “Guide to Love” by Val N. Tines.

Joke by Grant W., Pittsburgh, Pa.


A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.  At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.  Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”  And the lady said, “Pardon?”

Joke by Vincent F., Manchester, Mo.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Zach: What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Scott: Tell me.
Zach: “We’re a perfect match.”

Joke by Zachery S., Washington, Ill.


Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.

Joke by Travis R. G.


valentinecomic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.

Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry.”

“Why?” asked the man, smiling.

“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied.

Joke by Matthew D., Andover, Mass.


A book never written: “Avoiding Valentine’s Day” by I.M.N. Love.

Joke by Josh G., Portland, Ore.


valentinecomic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.

Joke by Kevin A., Winston-Salem, N.C.


Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.

Joke by Alexander V., Hamden, Conn.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Joke by Michael J., West Simsbury, Conn.


Comic by Scott Nickel


A Cub Scout found a frog that said, “Kiss me and I will become a beautiful princess.”

The boy studied the frog, then put it in his pocket.

“Hey,” the frog croaked, “how come you didn’t kiss me?”

“I’d rather have a talking frog than a princess any day!”

Joke by Brad S., San Antonio, Tex.


trex-650

Comic by Scott Nickel


Craig: Why do melons have to get married in churches?
Joe: Why?
Craig: Because they cantaloupe!

Joke by August R., Bridgeville, Pa.


valentinecomic-3

Comic by Scott Nickel


Justin: What did the boy candy say to the girl candy?
John: I haven’t a clue.
Justin: “It’s Valentine’s Day and we’re mint for each other.”

Joke by Justin R., Hampton Falls, N.H.


Dawson: What do pigs give on Feb. 14?
Brad: I don’t know.
Dawson: Valen-swines!

Joke by Dawson M., Detroit, Mich.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Comic by Thomas Toons


Tobin: What happened to your leg?
Matt: I went to a seafood dance on Valentine’s Day.
Tobin: And?
Matt: I pulled a mussel!

Joke by Matt K., Omaha, Neb.


cupid-650

Comic by Scott Nickel


Ben: What did one magnet say to the other magnet on Valentine’s Day?
Finn: I have no idea. What?
Ben: “I find you very attractive!”

Joke by Ben M., Doylestown, Pa.


Do you know a funny Valentine’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

46 Comments on 20 Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes and Comics

  1. I do find d jokes funny

  2. PenguinsAmillion // February 7, 2018 at 6:32 am // Reply

    I liked the purple mushroom one

  3. Awesome lady // January 25, 2018 at 5:23 pm // Reply

    I Didn’t really like any of these they were to like bad to me I was going to use one but I didn’t see any I liked

  4. you guys r so cool

  5. heehee im a girl // February 10, 2016 at 8:49 pm // Reply

    hehehe wow so corny

  6. Funny

  7. Impressive, most impressive.

  8. Blue Valentine // February 14, 2015 at 6:44 pm // Reply

    Michael J., funny yet perfect joke!

  9. nice jokes

  10. Medina12345678910 // February 11, 2015 at 9:05 pm // Reply

    Those were all so funny especially the two antenna one

  11. They were all so hillarious

  12. This is so funny I am laughing my head off the one about the woman’s dream is so funny

  13. Ha ha so funny I like the one about the man could only say one word per year

  14. I like Vincent’s & Micheal’s joke.

  15. I like the cub Scout one 😀

  16. We enjoyed these. Thank You For Sharing!

  17. I love these so much great job 😁😅

  18. I like the frog one best!

  19. What did bob say to billy? I WANT PIZZA!

    • JoeJoeJumpingBean👀 // February 5, 2015 at 6:39 pm // Reply

      I ❤️ these jokes!!!!!! (Especially the one with woman who had dream and the 🐸 one!)
      THANK YOU 😜😜

  20. Mr. Laughs A. Lot // February 7, 2014 at 5:39 pm // Reply

    Outstanding jokes! I know my second graders will love them. Please accept my “heart”-felt thanks.

  21. funny

  22. Michael Jackson (or just J) had the only good joke

  23. I like 2,3, and 7 the best!!!

  24. I LIKE VINCENT JOKE

  25. Funny yay

  26. Boring

  27. My FAKE Name // February 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm // Reply

    Those are all very boring…. I thought these were going to be hilarious. They’re all just stupid.

  28. The first one is my favorite.

  29. Vincent’s joke is the best.

  30. nice jokes

  31. i liked the one Vincent F sent in. It’s awsome!!!!

  32. The one that Miechal J. sent was absolutely hilarious!!! I read it like 7 times!! It never gets old. 🙂

  33. Too Boring….:(

  34. very….boring!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. crazy boy in love // February 5, 2013 at 8:45 pm // Reply

    i love the one michael J. submitted

  36. Jokes were hilarious. They were nice and clean, thank you for those.

  37. BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Valentine’s Day(better known as single awareness day!!)

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